Hear Them or Grieve Them
19 more children killed in the last decade. All preventable.
In their memory, we’re campaigning to put child safety first.
Claire’s story
11 years after I lost my precious boys, we’ve finally changed the law to protect countless other children.
"11 years ago, this week my sons Jack and Paul were killed by their domestically abusive father after a family court judge granted him unsupervised contact with them, despite my warnings. Jack’s last words were "my dad did this and he did it on purpose". "Even though he was dying, Jack did his best to tell as many people as he could what had happened, and that was the only time in the whole court process that Jack’s voice was heard. He’d never been asked his feelings, what he wanted, how he felt."
“Even in death, their voices and experiences were still silenced. It took 7 years for the courts to acknowledge Jack and Paul were murdered by their abusive father. Today, it feels like the systems finally starting to hear them. Presumption had no place in a court of law. No parent should have to hold their child in their arms while they die. My children were under the care of the family courts in the unsupervised access visit. They should have protected them, but they didn’t hear their cries. There’s too much noise on parents' rights, and a deafening silence on children’s rights in the family courts. It’s time for them to hear the children."
“That’s why we’re calling on the government to hear the children by implementing a whole-system approach to ending the pro-contact culture and that puts children's lives at risk.” It’s too late for my boys, but it’s not too late for others.”
We’ll never stop grieving Jack and Paul, the 46 child homicides before, or the 19 more child homicides since. Every one of these children deserved to be seen, heard and protected.
In their memory, we’re asking government to hear the children.
Every child killed as a result of unsafe contact arrangements with a domestic abuse perpetrator is a failure of a system that places the wants of domestic abusers over the safety of children.
Perpetrators have been using child contact as a weapon to manipulate family court professionals and statutory agencies, with deadly consequences for their victims.
After a decade-long campaign by Women’s Aid, our survivor ambassador Claire Throssell MBE, and countless survivors, are delighted the government has finally made the historic decision to repeal the legal presumption of parental involvement.
This is a major campaign win which will save lives and gets us one step closer on our mission to keep women and children safe. Now we’ve got commitment to changed the law, we’re calling for a whole-system approach to centre children’s voices in the courts, and beyond.
Now’s the time to:
- Bring forward legislation as soon as possible to remove the presumption of parental involvement from the 2001 Children’s Act.
- Ensure a holistic approach to ensuring that the family courts do not become a vehicle for continued abuse by implementing the 2020 Harm Panel recommendations, in full.
- Secure regular and mandatory training for family court judges and statutory agencies, to be developed in partnership with specialist domestic abuse services, including ‘by and for’ led services, for all professionals.
- Fix the system by ensuring proper communication, coordination, and accountability across agencies.
Recognising diverse children’s experiences of domestic abuse, including coercive control, and centring children’s voices in child contact cases will save lives.
Child victims of domestic abuse continue to be silenced. Their government needs to act now, to save lives.
How you can support
Sign our open letter
We are calling on the government to remove the presumption of parental involvement from the 2001 Children’s Act.
Share our campaign
In order to make change we need to have as many people on board as possible, so share our Hear Them Or Grieve them campaign with your friends and family.
Fundraise for us
You can support our work to end domestic abuse and help protect survivors by donating to Women’s Aid here.
