{"id":20686,"date":"2023-02-16T10:35:21","date_gmt":"2023-02-16T10:35:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/womensaid.org.uk\/?page_id=20686"},"modified":"2025-11-14T14:00:04","modified_gmt":"2025-11-14T14:00:04","slug":"ive-left-and-i-need-support","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/womensaid.org.uk\/information-support\/the-survivors-handbook\/ive-left-and-i-need-support\/","title":{"rendered":"I&#8217;ve left and I need support"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-page\" data-elementor-id=\"20686\" class=\"elementor elementor-20686\" data-elementor-post-type=\"page\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-51240367 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"51240367\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-1cd4a476\" data-id=\"1cd4a476\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-bf26e3e elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"bf26e3e\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"kleo_text_column wpb_text_column wpb_content_element \"><div class=\"wpb_wrapper\"><h1>I\u2019ve left and I <strong>need support<\/strong><\/h1><\/div><\/div>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-6160b868 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"6160b868\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<h2>On this page:<\/h2><ul><li style=\"list-style-type: none;\"><ul><li><a href=\"https:\/\/womensaid.org.uk\/information-support\/the-survivors-handbook\/ive-left-and-i-need-support\/#theeffectsofdomesticabuse\" data-wplink-edit=\"true\">The effects of domestic abuse<\/a><\/li><li><a href=\"https:\/\/womensaid.org.uk\/information-support\/the-survivors-handbook\/ive-left-and-i-need-support\/#startingover\" data-wplink-edit=\"true\">Starting over after abuse<\/a><\/li><li><a href=\"https:\/\/womensaid.org.uk\/information-support\/the-survivors-handbook\/ive-left-and-i-need-support\/#mentalhealthsupport\" data-wplink-edit=\"true\"><span class=\"TextRun SCXW111997912 BCX8\" lang=\"EN-GB\" xml:lang=\"EN-GB\" data-contrast=\"none\"><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW111997912 BCX8\" data-ccp-parastyle=\"heading 2\">Mental health support after leaving abuse<\/span><\/span><span class=\"EOP SCXW111997912 BCX8\" data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559738&quot;:80,&quot;335559739&quot;:0,&quot;335559740&quot;:360}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/a><\/li><li><a href=\"https:\/\/womensaid.org.uk\/information-support\/the-survivors-handbook\/ive-left-and-i-need-support\/#helpingyourchild\" data-wplink-edit=\"true\">Helping your child after abuse<\/a><\/li><li><a href=\"https:\/\/womensaid.org.uk\/information-support\/the-survivors-handbook\/ive-left-and-i-need-support\/#counsellingandselfcare\" data-wplink-edit=\"true\">Counselling and self-care<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><\/ul>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-80d5e55 elementor-widget-divider--view-line elementor-widget elementor-widget-divider\" data-id=\"80d5e55\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"divider.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-divider\">\n\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-divider-separator\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-7af1592d elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"7af1592d\" data-element_type=\"widget\" id=\"theeffectsofdomesticabuse\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<h2><a href=\"#theeffectsofdomesticabuse\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">The effects of domestic abuse<\/span><\/a><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:120,&quot;335559740&quot;:240}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/h2><p><span data-contrast=\"none\">Domestic abuse can have a considerable impact on your health and wellbeing \u2013 and\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/womensaid.org.uk\/information-support\/the-survivors-handbook\/i-feel-trapped\/#1667924927583-8c364e3d-017e\">your children<\/a>. The immediate physical effects of domestic abuse can include injuries such as bruises, cuts, broken bones, lost teeth and hair. It is also likely to have an effect on\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/womensaid.org.uk\/information-support\/the-survivors-handbook\/ive-left-and-i-need-support\/#mentalhealthsupport\">your mental health<\/a>\u00a0and your self-esteem<\/span><span data-contrast=\"auto\">, that can last for a long time after leaving an abusive partner.\u00a0<\/span><span data-contrast=\"none\">Some survivors might develop coping strategies such as using alcohol, drugs or other substances. If you are struggling with this,\u00a0<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk\/\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">support is here for you<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\">.\u00a0<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;201341983&quot;:2,&quot;335559738&quot;:204,&quot;335559739&quot;:0,&quot;335559740&quot;:384}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span data-contrast=\"none\"><a href=\"https:\/\/womensaid.org.uk\/information-support\/the-survivors-handbook\/i-feel-trapped\/#1667924927583-8c364e3d-017e\">Children might suffer short and long-term health and development complications<\/a>\u00a0as a result of witnessing and experiencing abuse. In some cases, this can lead to learning difficulties.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;201341983&quot;:2,&quot;335559738&quot;:204,&quot;335559739&quot;:0,&quot;335559740&quot;:384}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-7b30b3ca elementor-widget-divider--view-line elementor-widget elementor-widget-divider\" data-id=\"7b30b3ca\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"divider.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-divider\">\n\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-divider-separator\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-283400c9 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"283400c9\" data-element_type=\"widget\" id=\"startingover\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<h2 aria-level=\"2\"><a href=\"#startingover\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Starting over after abuse<\/span><\/a><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559738&quot;:80,&quot;335559739&quot;:0,&quot;335559740&quot;:360}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/h2><p><span data-contrast=\"none\">When the abuse\u202fis over and you have made practical arrangements in relation to housing, money and schools \u2013 you may be expecting to feel great, but be patient because this may not happen straight away.\u202f Sometimes, survivors may feel an immediate sense of elation which may suddenly be displaced by feelings of grief and overwhelm. However you respond individually is valid.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;201341983&quot;:2,&quot;335559738&quot;:204,&quot;335559739&quot;:0,&quot;335559740&quot;:384}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span data-contrast=\"none\">Recovering from the trauma of being abused by someone you once loved and trusted is a long process and it may take months and even years for you and your children to heal.\u202f\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;201341983&quot;:2,&quot;335559738&quot;:204,&quot;335559739&quot;:0,&quot;335559740&quot;:384}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span data-contrast=\"none\">For some people, it is also normal to experience a sense of anti-climax. You are likely to experience grief and the range of emotions which go with it, including a deep sense of loss. After all, your trust has been betrayed and your self-esteem and confidence shattered.\u202f\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;201341983&quot;:2,&quot;335559738&quot;:204,&quot;335559739&quot;:0,&quot;335559740&quot;:384}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-170df284 elementor-widget-divider--view-line elementor-widget elementor-widget-divider\" data-id=\"170df284\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"divider.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-divider\">\n\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-divider-separator\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-5b239ca1 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"5b239ca1\" data-element_type=\"widget\" id=\"mentalhealthsupport\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<h2 aria-level=\"2\"><a href=\"#mentalhealthsupport\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Mental health support after leaving abuse<\/span><\/a><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559738&quot;:80,&quot;335559739&quot;:0,&quot;335559740&quot;:360}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/h2><p><span data-contrast=\"none\">Leaving an abusive partner can be a long, tiring and stressful process. The transition to freedom from abuse is often a busy period. Women often find that they don\u2019t have time to process their feelings as they are busy understanding legal processes, arranging housing and securing children\u2019s futures.\u00a0<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;201341983&quot;:2,&quot;335559738&quot;:204,&quot;335559739&quot;:0,&quot;335559740&quot;:384}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span data-contrast=\"none\">When you are safe and have a secure future ahead of you, many women understandably expect to feel amazing. It\u2019s normal to feel a sense of anti-climax and for a process of grieving to begin when you have more time for space and reflection. The journey to emotional recovery is just beginning and will require patience, support and self-care.\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;201341983&quot;:2,&quot;335559738&quot;:204,&quot;335559739&quot;:0,&quot;335559740&quot;:384}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span data-contrast=\"none\">You\u2019ve gained your freedom but you may feel as though you have lost a lot too. Your trust may have been betrayed, you may have lost your confidence or left material belongings behind, this could have been your home, your job or income, sentimental belongings and pets.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;201341983&quot;:2,&quot;335559738&quot;:204,&quot;335559739&quot;:0,&quot;335559740&quot;:384}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span data-contrast=\"none\">All grieving processes take time and this is no different. There will be some days when you feel like you are moving one step forwards and other days when you sense you are moving backwards.\u202f\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;201341983&quot;:2,&quot;335559738&quot;:204,&quot;335559739&quot;:0,&quot;335559740&quot;:384}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-468b9090 elementor-widget elementor-widget-accordion\" data-id=\"468b9090\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"accordion.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-accordion\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-accordion-item\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div id=\"elementor-tab-title-1181\" class=\"elementor-tab-title\" data-tab=\"1\" role=\"button\" aria-controls=\"elementor-tab-content-1181\" aria-expanded=\"false\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-accordion-icon elementor-accordion-icon-left\" aria-hidden=\"true\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-accordion-icon-closed\"><i class=\"fas fa-plus\"><\/i><\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-accordion-icon-opened\"><i class=\"fas fa-minus\"><\/i><\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<a class=\"elementor-accordion-title\" tabindex=\"0\">Looking after yourself<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<div id=\"elementor-tab-content-1181\" class=\"elementor-tab-content elementor-clearfix\" data-tab=\"1\" role=\"region\" aria-labelledby=\"elementor-tab-title-1181\"><p><span data-contrast=\"none\">You might feel the urge to change your whole lifestyle by joining local organisations, returning to education or looking for a new job \u2013 but pace yourself and move at your own speed rather than worrying about what others might expect.\u202f Treat yourself gently and don\u2019t rush the healing process by setting unrealistic goals.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;201341983&quot;:2,&quot;335559738&quot;:204,&quot;335559739&quot;:0,&quot;335559740&quot;:384}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span data-contrast=\"none\">A big change has taken place and you may feel lonely and isolated at first, coming home to an empty house or flat. There may even be times when an abusive partner or family member seems better than no one at all.\u00a0<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;201341983&quot;:2,&quot;335559738&quot;:204,&quot;335559739&quot;:0,&quot;335559740&quot;:384}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span data-contrast=\"none\">A perpetrator of abuse might have cut you off from friends and family, but it\u2019s never too late to try to re-establish contact with them or create new support networks \u2013 in time, you will build confidence to make new friends.\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;201341983&quot;:2,&quot;335559738&quot;:204,&quot;335559739&quot;:0,&quot;335559740&quot;:384}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span data-contrast=\"none\">Think about the things below as practical ways of looking after yourself:\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;201341983&quot;:2,&quot;335559738&quot;:204,&quot;335559739&quot;:0,&quot;335559740&quot;:384}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p><ul><li data-leveltext=\"\uf0b7\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"65\" data-list-defn-props=\"{&quot;335552541&quot;:1,&quot;335559684&quot;:-2,&quot;335559685&quot;:720,&quot;335559991&quot;:360,&quot;469769226&quot;:&quot;Symbol&quot;,&quot;469769242&quot;:[8226],&quot;469777803&quot;:&quot;left&quot;,&quot;469777804&quot;:&quot;\uf0b7&quot;,&quot;469777815&quot;:&quot;hybridMultilevel&quot;}\" aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-aria-posinset=\"1\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Take time and space for yourself each day<\/span><\/li><li data-leveltext=\"\uf0b7\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"65\" data-list-defn-props=\"{&quot;335552541&quot;:1,&quot;335559684&quot;:-2,&quot;335559685&quot;:720,&quot;335559991&quot;:360,&quot;469769226&quot;:&quot;Symbol&quot;,&quot;469769242&quot;:[8226],&quot;469777803&quot;:&quot;left&quot;,&quot;469777804&quot;:&quot;\uf0b7&quot;,&quot;469777815&quot;:&quot;hybridMultilevel&quot;}\" aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-aria-posinset=\"1\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Reward yourself<\/span><\/li><li data-leveltext=\"\uf0b7\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"65\" data-list-defn-props=\"{&quot;335552541&quot;:1,&quot;335559684&quot;:-2,&quot;335559685&quot;:720,&quot;335559991&quot;:360,&quot;469769226&quot;:&quot;Symbol&quot;,&quot;469769242&quot;:[8226],&quot;469777803&quot;:&quot;left&quot;,&quot;469777804&quot;:&quot;\uf0b7&quot;,&quot;469777815&quot;:&quot;hybridMultilevel&quot;}\" aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-aria-posinset=\"1\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Do something you enjoy and are good at<\/span><\/li><li data-leveltext=\"\uf0b7\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"65\" data-list-defn-props=\"{&quot;335552541&quot;:1,&quot;335559684&quot;:-2,&quot;335559685&quot;:720,&quot;335559991&quot;:360,&quot;469769226&quot;:&quot;Symbol&quot;,&quot;469769242&quot;:[8226],&quot;469777803&quot;:&quot;left&quot;,&quot;469777804&quot;:&quot;\uf0b7&quot;,&quot;469777815&quot;:&quot;hybridMultilevel&quot;}\" aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-aria-posinset=\"1\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Take regular exercise like swimming, running, dancing or walking<\/span><\/li><li data-leveltext=\"\uf0b7\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"65\" data-list-defn-props=\"{&quot;335552541&quot;:1,&quot;335559684&quot;:-2,&quot;335559685&quot;:720,&quot;335559991&quot;:360,&quot;469769226&quot;:&quot;Symbol&quot;,&quot;469769242&quot;:[8226],&quot;469777803&quot;:&quot;left&quot;,&quot;469777804&quot;:&quot;\uf0b7&quot;,&quot;469777815&quot;:&quot;hybridMultilevel&quot;}\" aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-aria-posinset=\"1\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Learn a new skill like yoga or meditation<\/span><\/li><li data-leveltext=\"\uf0b7\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"65\" data-list-defn-props=\"{&quot;335552541&quot;:1,&quot;335559684&quot;:-2,&quot;335559685&quot;:720,&quot;335559991&quot;:360,&quot;469769226&quot;:&quot;Symbol&quot;,&quot;469769242&quot;:[8226],&quot;469777803&quot;:&quot;left&quot;,&quot;469777804&quot;:&quot;\uf0b7&quot;,&quot;469777815&quot;:&quot;hybridMultilevel&quot;}\" aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-aria-posinset=\"1\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Try creative activities like drawing, painting or writing<\/span><\/li><li data-leveltext=\"\uf0b7\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"65\" data-list-defn-props=\"{&quot;335552541&quot;:1,&quot;335559684&quot;:-2,&quot;335559685&quot;:720,&quot;335559991&quot;:360,&quot;469769226&quot;:&quot;Symbol&quot;,&quot;469769242&quot;:[8226],&quot;469777803&quot;:&quot;left&quot;,&quot;469777804&quot;:&quot;\uf0b7&quot;,&quot;469777815&quot;:&quot;hybridMultilevel&quot;}\" aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-aria-posinset=\"1\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Practice relaxation exercises like breathing exercises<\/span><\/li><li data-leveltext=\"\uf0b7\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"65\" data-list-defn-props=\"{&quot;335552541&quot;:1,&quot;335559684&quot;:-2,&quot;335559685&quot;:720,&quot;335559991&quot;:360,&quot;469769226&quot;:&quot;Symbol&quot;,&quot;469769242&quot;:[8226],&quot;469777803&quot;:&quot;left&quot;,&quot;469777804&quot;:&quot;\uf0b7&quot;,&quot;469777815&quot;:&quot;hybridMultilevel&quot;}\" aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-aria-posinset=\"1\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Try to eat well and to get enough sleep<\/span><\/li><li data-leveltext=\"\uf0b7\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"65\" data-list-defn-props=\"{&quot;335552541&quot;:1,&quot;335559684&quot;:-2,&quot;335559685&quot;:720,&quot;335559991&quot;:360,&quot;469769226&quot;:&quot;Symbol&quot;,&quot;469769242&quot;:[8226],&quot;469777803&quot;:&quot;left&quot;,&quot;469777804&quot;:&quot;\uf0b7&quot;,&quot;469777815&quot;:&quot;hybridMultilevel&quot;}\" aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-aria-posinset=\"1\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Contact your local domestic abuse service, they may have access to a support group or specialist domestic abuse counselling.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:true,&quot;201341983&quot;:2,&quot;335559739&quot;:0,&quot;335559740&quot;:384}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li><\/ul><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-accordion-item\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div id=\"elementor-tab-title-1182\" class=\"elementor-tab-title\" data-tab=\"2\" role=\"button\" aria-controls=\"elementor-tab-content-1182\" aria-expanded=\"false\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-accordion-icon elementor-accordion-icon-left\" aria-hidden=\"true\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-accordion-icon-closed\"><i class=\"fas fa-plus\"><\/i><\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-accordion-icon-opened\"><i class=\"fas fa-minus\"><\/i><\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<a class=\"elementor-accordion-title\" tabindex=\"0\">Regaining confidence<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<div id=\"elementor-tab-content-1182\" class=\"elementor-tab-content elementor-clearfix\" data-tab=\"2\" role=\"region\" aria-labelledby=\"elementor-tab-title-1182\"><p><span data-contrast=\"none\">Living with someone who is always putting you down, criticising you, controlling you and being abusive or violent towards you will have chipped away at your self-confidence.\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;201341983&quot;:2,&quot;335559738&quot;:204,&quot;335559739&quot;:0,&quot;335559740&quot;:384}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span data-contrast=\"none\">You may find it hard to make decisions if the perpetrator did not allow you to make choices for yourself.\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;201341983&quot;:2,&quot;335559738&quot;:204,&quot;335559739&quot;:0,&quot;335559740&quot;:384}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span data-contrast=\"none\"><a href=\"https:\/\/womensaid.org.uk\/information-support\/the-survivors-handbook\/i-need-ongoing-support\/#creatingasafefinancialfuture\">Managing money<\/a>\u00a0is likely to be very difficult if the abuser controlled all the household finances. You might be having to manage on a more limited income \u2013 as well as having had to leave behind many of your personal possessions.\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;201341983&quot;:2,&quot;335559738&quot;:204,&quot;335559739&quot;:0,&quot;335559740&quot;:384}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span data-contrast=\"none\">But you have already taken a huge, courageous step in leaving and you must give yourself credit for that. It might help to write a list of all the things you have achieved in your life so you can return to this when you are feeling low.\u202f\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;201341983&quot;:2,&quot;335559738&quot;:204,&quot;335559739&quot;:0,&quot;335559740&quot;:384}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span data-contrast=\"none\">You might find it helpful to talk about your experiences with other women who have also been in abusive relationships. You could contact\u00a0<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/womensaid.org.uk\/womens-aid-directory\/\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">your\u00a0<\/span><span data-contrast=\"none\">local domestic abuse service<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\">\u00a0or visit the\u00a0<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/survivorsforum.womensaid.org.uk\/\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Survivors\u2019 Forum<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\">\u00a0\u2013 a safe, anonymous space for women to share their experiences and support one another.\u00a0<\/span><span data-contrast=\"none\">You also can call the Freephone National 24-hour Domestic\u00a0<\/span><span data-contrast=\"none\">Abuse<\/span><span data-contrast=\"none\">\u00a0Helpline (run by Refuge) on 0808 2000 247. You can also contact the\u00a0<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk\/en\/bsl\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">helpline in BSL<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\">, from Monday to Friday between 10am and 6pm.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;201341983&quot;:2,&quot;335559738&quot;:204,&quot;335559739&quot;:0,&quot;335559740&quot;:384}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-accordion-item\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div id=\"elementor-tab-title-1183\" class=\"elementor-tab-title\" data-tab=\"3\" role=\"button\" aria-controls=\"elementor-tab-content-1183\" aria-expanded=\"false\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-accordion-icon elementor-accordion-icon-left\" aria-hidden=\"true\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-accordion-icon-closed\"><i class=\"fas fa-plus\"><\/i><\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-accordion-icon-opened\"><i class=\"fas fa-minus\"><\/i><\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<a class=\"elementor-accordion-title\" tabindex=\"0\">Learning to move on<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<div id=\"elementor-tab-content-1183\" class=\"elementor-tab-content elementor-clearfix\" data-tab=\"3\" role=\"region\" aria-labelledby=\"elementor-tab-title-1183\"><p><span data-contrast=\"none\">While you were with the perpetrator, you may not have been free to make decisions on work, study or how to spend your free time.\u00a0<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;201341983&quot;:2,&quot;335559738&quot;:204,&quot;335559739&quot;:0,&quot;335559740&quot;:384}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span data-contrast=\"none\">Now, you have the freedom to choose for yourself and your children, but it\u2019s normal to feel scared and overwhelmed when these choices are in your hands. Women\u2019s Aid is here for you.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;201341983&quot;:2,&quot;335559738&quot;:204,&quot;335559739&quot;:0,&quot;335559740&quot;:384}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span data-contrast=\"none\">When you left the relationship, you may have had to give up your home, your job or moved to a new area for safety. As you settle into your new life, it\u2019s important you think about what you want now. Do you want to go back into work or education? Would you like to retrain or do some voluntary work instead? It\u2019s okay if you don\u2019t feel ready to think about this yet, everything takes time.\u00a0<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;201341983&quot;:2,&quot;335559738&quot;:204,&quot;335559739&quot;:0,&quot;335559740&quot;:384}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span data-contrast=\"none\">It might be worth seeking advice around benefits. You could contact\u00a0<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.turn2us.org.uk\/\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Turn2Us<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\">\u00a0who can help you assess whether you are eligible for financial support.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;201341983&quot;:2,&quot;335559738&quot;:204,&quot;335559739&quot;:0,&quot;335559740&quot;:384}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span data-contrast=\"none\">You might find it helpful to look at some of the information and support available for single parents.\u00a0<\/span><a href=\"http:\/\/www.singleparents.org.uk\/\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Single Parents<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\">\u00a0\u202fbrings together information, advice and first-hand experiences to help you manage and enjoy life as a single parent, including information on benefits, childcare and balancing work and single parenting.\u00a0<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;201341983&quot;:2,&quot;335559738&quot;:204,&quot;335559739&quot;:0,&quot;335559740&quot;:384}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span data-contrast=\"none\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.gingerbread.org.uk\/\">Gingerbread<\/a>\u00a0is an organisation which can support and advise single parents on a\u00a0<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.gingerbread.org.uk\/information\/\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">variety of issues<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\">. You can call their\u00a0<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.gingerbread.org.uk\/what-we-do\/contact-us\/helpline\/\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">helpline<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\">\u00a0on 0808 802 0925, or via the NGT Text relay service if you need support in BSL. They also have access to multilingual interpreters. There is also a\u00a0<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.gingerbread.org.uk\/what-we-do\/contact-us\/webchat\/\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">webchat<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\">\u00a0and a\u00a0<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.gingerbread.org.uk\/continue\/?url=\/your-community\/online-forum\/\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">peer support forum<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\">.\u00a0<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;201341983&quot;:2,&quot;335559738&quot;:204,&quot;335559739&quot;:0,&quot;335559740&quot;:384}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span data-contrast=\"none\">The organisation\u00a0<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/contact.org.uk\/\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Contact<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\">\u00a0supports parents of disabled children with a variety of issues or concerns, such as financial advice, education, health services and more. Call their\u00a0<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/contact.org.uk\/help-for-families\/information-advice-services\/our-helpline\/\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">helpline<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\">\u00a0on 0808 808 3555 or find advice and information on their\u00a0<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/contact.org.uk\/help-for-families\/faqs\/\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">FAQs<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\">\u00a0page.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;201341983&quot;:2,&quot;335559738&quot;:204,&quot;335559739&quot;:0,&quot;335559740&quot;:384}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-39d3ff1c elementor-widget-divider--view-line elementor-widget elementor-widget-divider\" data-id=\"39d3ff1c\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"divider.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-divider\">\n\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-divider-separator\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-4d12981e elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"4d12981e\" data-element_type=\"section\" id=\"helping-children\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-7ec16ce9\" data-id=\"7ec16ce9\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-3321e378 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"3321e378\" data-element_type=\"widget\" id=\"helpingyourchild\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<h2><a href=\"#helpingyourchild\">Helping your children after abuse<\/a><\/h2><p><span data-contrast=\"none\">Your children will also need time to adjust to the new situation. They will almost certainly have been affected by the abuse they witnessed or experienced directly (see the section on\u00a0<\/span><span data-contrast=\"none\"><a href=\"https:\/\/womensaid.org.uk\/information-support\/the-survivors-handbook\/i-feel-trapped\/\">Children and domestic violence<\/a>\u00a0for more information on this).\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;201341983&quot;:2,&quot;335559738&quot;:204,&quot;335559739&quot;:0,&quot;335559740&quot;:384}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span data-contrast=\"none\">If you have moved to a different area, they will no doubt have to attend a new school and make new friends. These transitions can trigger huge anxiety and a grieving process linked to leaving behind their home, friends, pets and treasured possessions.\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;201341983&quot;:2,&quot;335559738&quot;:204,&quot;335559739&quot;:0,&quot;335559740&quot;:384}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span data-contrast=\"none\">As the main adult in their lives who they love and trust \u2013 your children will look to you to give them the answers and reassurance they need. You may find this responsibility very hard at a time when you are trying to deal with your own emotions. On the other hand, some women view this task as a helpful distraction and even see it as a reason to carry on. Be as honest with your children as you can in a way which is safe and easy for them to understand. Tell them that you love them and reassure them that nothing that has happened is their fault.\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;201341983&quot;:2,&quot;335559738&quot;:204,&quot;335559739&quot;:0,&quot;335559740&quot;:384}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span data-contrast=\"none\">Try to establish a \u2018normal\u2019, consistent routine as soon as possible. This will help to show them that you can be relied upon even though their father or step-father has let them down. Listen carefully to your children\u2019s concerns and help them to find other sources of support (e.g. trusted relatives, teachers, youth workers, refuge and domestic violence outreach staff).\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;201341983&quot;:2,&quot;335559738&quot;:204,&quot;335559739&quot;:0,&quot;335559740&quot;:384}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span data-contrast=\"none\">Although your children will feel relieved the abuse has stopped, it is likely they might miss their father or step-father and blame you for the loss as a way of expressing sadness and anger.\u00a0<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;201341983&quot;:2,&quot;335559738&quot;:204,&quot;335559739&quot;:0,&quot;335559740&quot;:384}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youngminds.org.uk\/\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Young Minds<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\">\u00a0provides information and support for young people themselves. The\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.youngminds.org.uk\/parent\/find-help\/\">Young Minds parents\u2019 information service<\/a>\u00a0provides help for parents concerned about a young person\u2019s mental health and also explore how divorce and separation affects children and young people.\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;201341983&quot;:2,&quot;335559738&quot;:204,&quot;335559739&quot;:0,&quot;335559740&quot;:384}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-aadcab3 elementor-widget elementor-widget-accordion\" data-id=\"aadcab3\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"accordion.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-accordion\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-accordion-item\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div id=\"elementor-tab-title-1791\" class=\"elementor-tab-title\" data-tab=\"1\" role=\"button\" aria-controls=\"elementor-tab-content-1791\" aria-expanded=\"false\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-accordion-icon elementor-accordion-icon-left\" aria-hidden=\"true\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-accordion-icon-closed\"><i class=\"fas fa-plus\"><\/i><\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-accordion-icon-opened\"><i class=\"fas fa-minus\"><\/i><\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<a class=\"elementor-accordion-title\" tabindex=\"0\">Resources for your children<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<div id=\"elementor-tab-content-1791\" class=\"elementor-tab-content elementor-clearfix\" data-tab=\"1\" role=\"region\" aria-labelledby=\"elementor-tab-title-1791\"><p><span data-contrast=\"none\">Women\u2019s Aid website\u00a0<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/loverespect.co.uk\/\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Love Respect<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\">\u00a0empowers young people to talk about relationship abuse and how to spot red flags. We believe everyone has the right to be safe and happy.\u00a0<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;201341983&quot;:2,&quot;335559738&quot;:204,&quot;335559739&quot;:0,&quot;335559740&quot;:384}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span data-contrast=\"none\">We would encourage you to get in touch with\u00a0<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/womensaid.org.uk\/womens-aid-directory\/\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">your local domestic abuse service<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\">. Local services often have access to support for children and young people. They may have specialist counselling that your children could access and\/or access to support groups.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;201341983&quot;:2,&quot;335559738&quot;:204,&quot;335559739&quot;:0,&quot;335559740&quot;:384}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span data-contrast=\"none\">The Young Minds\u00a0<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youngminds.org.uk\/parent\/find-help\/\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">parents\u2019 information service<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\">\u00a0provides help for parents concerned about a young person\u2019s mental health.\u202fThey also have a\u00a0<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youngminds.org.uk\/parent\/parents-helpline-and-webchat\/\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">parents\u2019 helpline<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\">, available on 0808 802 5533 from 9.30am \u2013 4pm, Monday to Friday, or a webchat open during the same hours.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;201341983&quot;:2,&quot;335559738&quot;:204,&quot;335559739&quot;:0,&quot;335559740&quot;:384}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youngminds.org.uk\/young-person\/find-help\/\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Young Minds<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\">\u00a0provides information and support for young people who may be struggling with their mental health, or worrying about someone else.<\/span><\/p><p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.barnardos.org.uk\/\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Barnardos<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\">\u00a0offer young people\u2019s support groups and counselling.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:true,&quot;134233118&quot;:true,&quot;201341983&quot;:2,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:384}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.childline.org.uk\/\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Childline<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\">\u00a0provides confidential support for children on 0800 1111 (24hrs) or chat online to a counsellor.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:true,&quot;134233118&quot;:true,&quot;201341983&quot;:2,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:384}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.themix.org.uk\/\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">The Mix<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\">\u00a0are a support service that can connect children\/young people to support services around any problems they may be having including domestic abuse. They can be contacted on 0808 808 4994 or via their live chat service (3pm-midnight every day).<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:true,&quot;134233118&quot;:true,&quot;201341983&quot;:2,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:384}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.nspcc.org.uk\/\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">NSPCC<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\">\u00a0work to prevent abuse and rebuild children\u2019s lives. They can be contacted on 0800 800 5000 (24hrs).<\/span><\/p><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-5ec0276e elementor-widget-divider--view-line elementor-widget elementor-widget-divider\" data-id=\"5ec0276e\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"divider.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-divider\">\n\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-divider-separator\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-a3518ab elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"a3518ab\" data-element_type=\"widget\" id=\"counsellingandselfcare\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<h2 aria-level=\"2\"><a href=\"#counsellingandselfcare\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Counselling and self-care<\/span><\/a><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559738&quot;:80,&quot;335559739&quot;:0,&quot;335559740&quot;:360}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/h2><p><span data-contrast=\"none\">Domestic abuse\u202fcan impact your mental health.\u202fIt can lead to mental health conditions such as depression and anxiety, or increase the symptoms. This can affect your mood, sleep, appetite and can make you withdraw from activities you enjoy, decrease your motivation or, in severe cases, make you have suicidal thoughts or self-harm.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span data-contrast=\"none\">Remember, you are not alone, Women\u2019s Aid is\u00a0<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/womensaid.org.uk\/information-support\/help-by-email\/\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">here for\u00a0<\/span><span data-contrast=\"none\">you<\/span>\u00a0<\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\">and ready to support you.\u00a0<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:120,&quot;335559740&quot;:264}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span data-contrast=\"none\">There are lots of way you support yourself through difficult days.\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/womensaid.org.uk\/information-support\/the-survivors-handbook\/i-feel-trapped\/#selfcare\">Self-care<\/a>\u00a0can include exercises or hobbies, letting you take a moment for yourself and give you some time to relax, helping you process what you are experiencing and think about further support.\u202fEvery woman will have different experiences of abuse, so while you may find some things useful, others may not work for you.\u00a0<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:120,&quot;335559740&quot;:264}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span data-contrast=\"none\">You may also want to access counselling services after experiencing abuse.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:120,&quot;335559740&quot;:264}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span data-contrast=\"none\">The\u00a0<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.nhs.uk\/nhs-services\/mental-health-services\/\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">NHS mental health services<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\">\u00a0can help you find a local therapy or counselling service or you could speak with your GP for a referral.\u00a0<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:120,&quot;335559740&quot;:264}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-601a4e7 elementor-widget elementor-widget-accordion\" data-id=\"601a4e7\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"accordion.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-accordion\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-accordion-item\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div id=\"elementor-tab-title-1001\" class=\"elementor-tab-title\" data-tab=\"1\" role=\"button\" aria-controls=\"elementor-tab-content-1001\" aria-expanded=\"false\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-accordion-icon elementor-accordion-icon-left\" aria-hidden=\"true\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-accordion-icon-closed\"><i class=\"fas fa-plus\"><\/i><\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-accordion-icon-opened\"><i class=\"fas fa-minus\"><\/i><\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<a class=\"elementor-accordion-title\" tabindex=\"0\">Accessing domestic abuse support services<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<div id=\"elementor-tab-content-1001\" class=\"elementor-tab-content elementor-clearfix\" data-tab=\"1\" role=\"region\" aria-labelledby=\"elementor-tab-title-1001\"><p><span data-contrast=\"none\">It can be difficult to reach out to support services, especially if you have a mental health diagnosis, but our support services are here for you.\u00a0<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;201341983&quot;:2,&quot;335559685&quot;:0,&quot;335559738&quot;:204,&quot;335559739&quot;:0,&quot;335559740&quot;:384}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p>For further support please contact the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk\/\">national domestic abuse helpline.<\/a><\/p><p><span data-contrast=\"none\">Whoever you reach out to, your experiences of abuse should be validated. It may be hard if you don\u2019t experience this when speaking with friends or family but it\u2019s important to remember that reaching out to someone is a huge step in finding support.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:120,&quot;335559740&quot;:264}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-accordion-item\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div id=\"elementor-tab-title-1002\" class=\"elementor-tab-title\" data-tab=\"2\" role=\"button\" aria-controls=\"elementor-tab-content-1002\" aria-expanded=\"false\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-accordion-icon elementor-accordion-icon-left\" aria-hidden=\"true\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-accordion-icon-closed\"><i class=\"fas fa-plus\"><\/i><\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-accordion-icon-opened\"><i class=\"fas fa-minus\"><\/i><\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<a class=\"elementor-accordion-title\" tabindex=\"0\">How abusers use mental health in emotional abuse<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<div id=\"elementor-tab-content-1002\" class=\"elementor-tab-content elementor-clearfix\" data-tab=\"2\" role=\"region\" aria-labelledby=\"elementor-tab-title-1002\"><p><span data-contrast=\"none\">Abusers often use mental health as a way to exert control and intensify abuse but abuse is never your fault. Only the abuser is responsible for their actions. Some examples might include:<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;201341983&quot;:2,&quot;335559738&quot;:204,&quot;335559739&quot;:0,&quot;335559740&quot;:384}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p><ul><li data-leveltext=\"\uf0b7\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"60\" data-list-defn-props=\"{&quot;335552541&quot;:1,&quot;335559684&quot;:-2,&quot;335559685&quot;:720,&quot;335559991&quot;:360,&quot;469769226&quot;:&quot;Symbol&quot;,&quot;469769242&quot;:[8226],&quot;469777803&quot;:&quot;left&quot;,&quot;469777804&quot;:&quot;\uf0b7&quot;,&quot;469777815&quot;:&quot;hybridMultilevel&quot;}\" aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-aria-posinset=\"1\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Say you couldn\u2019t cope without him\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:true,&quot;134233118&quot;:true,&quot;201341983&quot;:2,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:384}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li><li data-leveltext=\"\uf0b7\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"60\" data-list-defn-props=\"{&quot;335552541&quot;:1,&quot;335559684&quot;:-2,&quot;335559685&quot;:720,&quot;335559991&quot;:360,&quot;469769226&quot;:&quot;Symbol&quot;,&quot;469769242&quot;:[8226],&quot;469777803&quot;:&quot;left&quot;,&quot;469777804&quot;:&quot;\uf0b7&quot;,&quot;469777815&quot;:&quot;hybridMultilevel&quot;}\" aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-aria-posinset=\"2\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Label you as \u201cmad\u201d\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:true,&quot;134233118&quot;:true,&quot;201341983&quot;:2,&quot;335559739&quot;:160,&quot;335559740&quot;:384}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li><li data-leveltext=\"\uf0b7\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"60\" data-list-defn-props=\"{&quot;335552541&quot;:1,&quot;335559684&quot;:-2,&quot;335559685&quot;:720,&quot;335559991&quot;:360,&quot;469769226&quot;:&quot;Symbol&quot;,&quot;469769242&quot;:[8226],&quot;469777803&quot;:&quot;left&quot;,&quot;469777804&quot;:&quot;\uf0b7&quot;,&quot;469777815&quot;:&quot;hybridMultilevel&quot;}\" aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-aria-posinset=\"3\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Not allow you to go anywhere alone because he is your \u201ccarer\u201d\u202f<\/span><\/li><li data-leveltext=\"\uf0b7\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"60\" data-list-defn-props=\"{&quot;335552541&quot;:1,&quot;335559684&quot;:-2,&quot;335559685&quot;:720,&quot;335559991&quot;:360,&quot;469769226&quot;:&quot;Symbol&quot;,&quot;469769242&quot;:[8226],&quot;469777803&quot;:&quot;left&quot;,&quot;469777804&quot;:&quot;\uf0b7&quot;,&quot;469777815&quot;:&quot;hybridMultilevel&quot;}\" aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-aria-posinset=\"3\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Speak for you, saying you don\u2019t understand or get confused<\/span><\/li><li data-leveltext=\"\uf0b7\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"60\" data-list-defn-props=\"{&quot;335552541&quot;:1,&quot;335559684&quot;:-2,&quot;335559685&quot;:720,&quot;335559991&quot;:360,&quot;469769226&quot;:&quot;Symbol&quot;,&quot;469769242&quot;:[8226],&quot;469777803&quot;:&quot;left&quot;,&quot;469777804&quot;:&quot;\uf0b7&quot;,&quot;469777815&quot;:&quot;hybridMultilevel&quot;}\" aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-aria-posinset=\"3\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Tell you you\u2019re not capable of being a good mum or that you\u2019re not able to look after your children properly<\/span><\/li><li data-leveltext=\"\uf0b7\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"60\" data-list-defn-props=\"{&quot;335552541&quot;:1,&quot;335559684&quot;:-2,&quot;335559685&quot;:720,&quot;335559991&quot;:360,&quot;469769226&quot;:&quot;Symbol&quot;,&quot;469769242&quot;:[8226],&quot;469777803&quot;:&quot;left&quot;,&quot;469777804&quot;:&quot;\uf0b7&quot;,&quot;469777815&quot;:&quot;hybridMultilevel&quot;}\" aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-aria-posinset=\"3\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Force you to have an abortion, saying you wouldn\u2019t be able to cope<\/span><\/li><li data-leveltext=\"\uf0b7\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"60\" data-list-defn-props=\"{&quot;335552541&quot;:1,&quot;335559684&quot;:-2,&quot;335559685&quot;:720,&quot;335559991&quot;:360,&quot;469769226&quot;:&quot;Symbol&quot;,&quot;469769242&quot;:[8226],&quot;469777803&quot;:&quot;left&quot;,&quot;469777804&quot;:&quot;\uf0b7&quot;,&quot;469777815&quot;:&quot;hybridMultilevel&quot;}\" aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-aria-posinset=\"3\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Threaten to take your children away\u202f<\/span><\/li><li data-leveltext=\"\uf0b7\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"60\" data-list-defn-props=\"{&quot;335552541&quot;:1,&quot;335559684&quot;:-2,&quot;335559685&quot;:720,&quot;335559991&quot;:360,&quot;469769226&quot;:&quot;Symbol&quot;,&quot;469769242&quot;:[8226],&quot;469777803&quot;:&quot;left&quot;,&quot;469777804&quot;:&quot;\uf0b7&quot;,&quot;469777815&quot;:&quot;hybridMultilevel&quot;}\" aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-aria-posinset=\"3\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Threaten to tell social services, implying that your children will be taken away<\/span><\/li><li data-leveltext=\"\uf0b7\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"60\" data-list-defn-props=\"{&quot;335552541&quot;:1,&quot;335559684&quot;:-2,&quot;335559685&quot;:720,&quot;335559991&quot;:360,&quot;469769226&quot;:&quot;Symbol&quot;,&quot;469769242&quot;:[8226],&quot;469777803&quot;:&quot;left&quot;,&quot;469777804&quot;:&quot;\uf0b7&quot;,&quot;469777815&quot;:&quot;hybridMultilevel&quot;}\" aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-aria-posinset=\"3\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Tell your children that you can\u2019t look after them\u00a0<\/span><\/li><li data-leveltext=\"\uf0b7\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"60\" data-list-defn-props=\"{&quot;335552541&quot;:1,&quot;335559684&quot;:-2,&quot;335559685&quot;:720,&quot;335559991&quot;:360,&quot;469769226&quot;:&quot;Symbol&quot;,&quot;469769242&quot;:[8226],&quot;469777803&quot;:&quot;left&quot;,&quot;469777804&quot;:&quot;\uf0b7&quot;,&quot;469777815&quot;:&quot;hybridMultilevel&quot;}\" aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-aria-posinset=\"3\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Deliberately mislead or confuse you\u202f<\/span><\/li><li data-leveltext=\"\uf0b7\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"60\" data-list-defn-props=\"{&quot;335552541&quot;:1,&quot;335559684&quot;:-2,&quot;335559685&quot;:720,&quot;335559991&quot;:360,&quot;469769226&quot;:&quot;Symbol&quot;,&quot;469769242&quot;:[8226],&quot;469777803&quot;:&quot;left&quot;,&quot;469777804&quot;:&quot;\uf0b7&quot;,&quot;469777815&quot;:&quot;hybridMultilevel&quot;}\" aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-aria-posinset=\"3\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Withhold your medication\u202f<\/span><\/li><li data-leveltext=\"\uf0b7\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"60\" data-list-defn-props=\"{&quot;335552541&quot;:1,&quot;335559684&quot;:-2,&quot;335559685&quot;:720,&quot;335559991&quot;:360,&quot;469769226&quot;:&quot;Symbol&quot;,&quot;469769242&quot;:[8226],&quot;469777803&quot;:&quot;left&quot;,&quot;469777804&quot;:&quot;\uf0b7&quot;,&quot;469777815&quot;:&quot;hybridMultilevel&quot;}\" aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-aria-posinset=\"3\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Withhold or coerce you into using alcohol or drugs<\/span><\/li><li data-leveltext=\"\uf0b7\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"60\" data-list-defn-props=\"{&quot;335552541&quot;:1,&quot;335559684&quot;:-2,&quot;335559685&quot;:720,&quot;335559991&quot;:360,&quot;469769226&quot;:&quot;Symbol&quot;,&quot;469769242&quot;:[8226],&quot;469777803&quot;:&quot;left&quot;,&quot;469777804&quot;:&quot;\uf0b7&quot;,&quot;469777815&quot;:&quot;hybridMultilevel&quot;}\" aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-aria-posinset=\"3\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Undermine you when you reach out for support. He may do this by telling authorities like social services or the police that you are \u2018mad\u2019 or that they shouldn\u2019t believe what you say\u00a0<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:true,&quot;201341983&quot;:2,&quot;335559739&quot;:0,&quot;335559740&quot;:384}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li><li data-leveltext=\"\uf0b7\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"60\" data-list-defn-props=\"{&quot;335552541&quot;:1,&quot;335559684&quot;:-2,&quot;335559685&quot;:720,&quot;335559991&quot;:360,&quot;469769226&quot;:&quot;Symbol&quot;,&quot;469769242&quot;:[8226],&quot;469777803&quot;:&quot;left&quot;,&quot;469777804&quot;:&quot;\uf0b7&quot;,&quot;469777815&quot;:&quot;hybridMultilevel&quot;}\" aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-aria-posinset=\"3\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Using\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/womensaid.org.uk\/information-support\/the-survivors-handbook\/im-not-sure-if-my-relationship-is-healthy\/#1667903593160-83200adc-047d\">gaslighting<\/a>\u00a0techniques to further impact on your mental health<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:true,&quot;201341983&quot;:2,&quot;335559739&quot;:0,&quot;335559740&quot;:384}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li><\/ul><p><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:true,&quot;201341983&quot;:2,&quot;335559739&quot;:0,&quot;335559740&quot;:384}\">\u00a0If you have experienced this and need support, see our <a href=\"https:\/\/womensaid.org.uk\/information-support\/\">information and support page<\/a>.<\/span><\/p><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I\u2019ve left and I need support On this page: The effects of domestic abuse Starting over after abuse Mental health support after leaving abuse\u00a0 Helping your child after abuse Counselling and self-care The effects of domestic abuse\u00a0 Domestic abuse can have a considerable impact on your health and wellbeing \u2013 and\u00a0your children. The immediate physical [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":580,"featured_media":20931,"parent":7001,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"pmpro_default_level":"","inline_featured_image":false,"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[1855],"tags":[133,1979,72,836,1140],"class_list":["post-20686","page","type-page","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-the-survivors-handbook","tag-children","tag-counselling","tag-domestic-abuse","tag-support-services","tag-the-survivors-handbook","pmpro-has-access"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v25.3 - 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