{"id":11384,"date":"2018-04-24T15:40:54","date_gmt":"2018-04-24T14:40:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/womensaid.org.uk\/?page_id=11384"},"modified":"2026-01-02T13:25:09","modified_gmt":"2026-01-02T13:25:09","slug":"myths","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/womensaid.org.uk\/information-support\/what-is-domestic-abuse\/myths\/","title":{"rendered":"Myths about domestic abuse"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-page\" data-elementor-id=\"11384\" class=\"elementor elementor-11384\" data-elementor-post-type=\"page\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-1d7e9852 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"1d7e9852\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-3008e9ee\" data-id=\"3008e9ee\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-3efc579c elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"3efc579c\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<h1>Myths about <b>domestic abuse\u00a0<\/b><\/h1>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-67abc7f7 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"67abc7f7\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><strong><span class=\"TextRun SCXW105594203 BCX8\" lang=\"EN-GB\" xml:lang=\"EN-GB\" data-contrast=\"none\"><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW105594203 BCX8\" data-ccp-parastyle=\"Normal (Web)\">Perceptions around domestic abuse<\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/p><p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Women\u2019s Aid have conducted research over the past two to three years, with adults as well as children and young people, to gather insight on public attitudes towards domestic abuse in order to better understand where and why domestic abuse is \u2018tolerated\u2019 in our society.\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p><ul><li aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-leveltext=\"\uf0b7\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"1\" data-list-defn-props=\"{&quot;335552541&quot;:1,&quot;335559685&quot;:720,&quot;335559991&quot;:360,&quot;469769226&quot;:&quot;Symbol&quot;,&quot;469769242&quot;:[8226],&quot;469777803&quot;:&quot;left&quot;,&quot;469777804&quot;:&quot;\uf0b7&quot;,&quot;469777815&quot;:&quot;multilevel&quot;}\" data-aria-posinset=\"1\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Women\u2019s Aid research as part of the Come Together campaign found that 34% of UK adults believe domestic abuse is the result of just \u2018bad people\u2019 rather than a reflection of sexism in wider society enabling it (Women\u2019s Aid, 2022).\u202f\u202f\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li><li aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-leveltext=\"\uf0b7\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"1\" data-list-defn-props=\"{&quot;335552541&quot;:1,&quot;335559685&quot;:720,&quot;335559991&quot;:360,&quot;469769226&quot;:&quot;Symbol&quot;,&quot;469769242&quot;:[8226],&quot;469777803&quot;:&quot;left&quot;,&quot;469777804&quot;:&quot;\uf0b7&quot;,&quot;469777815&quot;:&quot;multilevel&quot;}\" data-aria-posinset=\"1\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"auto\">UK adults also see the abuser\u2019s perceived wellbeing or repentance as an excuse for abusive behaviour. There was a 15% drop (from 81% to 66%) in those who thought the husband in a given scenario was really wrong to slap his wife when he later apologised. UK adults therefore also see the abuser\u2019s perceived wellbeing or repentance as an excuse for abusive behaviour. (Women\u2019s Aid, 2022).\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li><li aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-leveltext=\"\uf0b7\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"1\" data-list-defn-props=\"{&quot;335552541&quot;:1,&quot;335559685&quot;:720,&quot;335559991&quot;:360,&quot;469769226&quot;:&quot;Symbol&quot;,&quot;469769242&quot;:[8226],&quot;469777803&quot;:&quot;left&quot;,&quot;469777804&quot;:&quot;\uf0b7&quot;,&quot;469777815&quot;:&quot;multilevel&quot;}\" data-aria-posinset=\"1\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Women\u2019s Aid research found that Children and young people exposed to misogynistic social media content like Andrew Tate were almost 5x more likely than those not exposed to view hurting someone physically as acceptable if you say sorry afterwards. Children and young people exposed to this type of misogynistic content were more likely to think that there should be a more dominant person in relationship (31% compared to 14%), and also viewed hurting someone physically as more acceptable (19% compared to 4%) (Women\u2019s Aid, 2023).\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li><li aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-leveltext=\"\uf0b7\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"1\" data-list-defn-props=\"{&quot;335552541&quot;:1,&quot;335559685&quot;:720,&quot;335559991&quot;:360,&quot;469769226&quot;:&quot;Symbol&quot;,&quot;469769242&quot;:[8226],&quot;469777803&quot;:&quot;left&quot;,&quot;469777804&quot;:&quot;\uf0b7&quot;,&quot;469777815&quot;:&quot;multilevel&quot;}\" data-aria-posinset=\"1\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Of 18-25-year-olds surveyed, 65% of respondents (67% of women and 62% of men) agreed that \u2018you should always have consent from your partner to have sex when you are in a relationship\u2019, however, almost a quarter of young people (23% overall; 23% of women and 25% of men) disagreed or strongly disagreed with this statement (Women\u2019s Aid, 2023).\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li><\/ul><p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Over a third of the younger people surveyed agreed with the statement, \u2018if your partner is being jealous, it shows that they care about you\u2019 (35%) and that \u2018it\u2019s okay to check your partner\u2019s outfits before they go to the gym to prevent unwanted attention\u2019 (34%) (Women\u2019s Aid, 2023).\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p><ul><li aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-leveltext=\"\uf0b7\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"5\" data-list-defn-props=\"{&quot;335552541&quot;:1,&quot;335559685&quot;:720,&quot;335559991&quot;:360,&quot;469769226&quot;:&quot;Symbol&quot;,&quot;469769242&quot;:[8226],&quot;469777803&quot;:&quot;left&quot;,&quot;469777804&quot;:&quot;\uf0b7&quot;,&quot;469777815&quot;:&quot;multilevel&quot;}\" data-aria-posinset=\"1\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"auto\">The Crime Survey for England and Wales found that (in the year ending March 2017) the majority of adults responding to the survey thought it was always unacceptable to hit or slap a partner (ONS, 2018). However, some respondents thought it was always, mostly or sometimes acceptable to hit or slap a partner in response to:\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li><li aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-leveltext=\"\uf0b7\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"5\" data-list-defn-props=\"{&quot;335552541&quot;:1,&quot;335559685&quot;:720,&quot;335559991&quot;:360,&quot;469769226&quot;:&quot;Symbol&quot;,&quot;469769242&quot;:[8226],&quot;469777803&quot;:&quot;left&quot;,&quot;469777804&quot;:&quot;\uf0b7&quot;,&quot;469777815&quot;:&quot;multilevel&quot;}\" data-aria-posinset=\"1\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Having an affair or cheating on them (7.1%)\u202f\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li><li aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-leveltext=\"\uf0b7\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"5\" data-list-defn-props=\"{&quot;335552541&quot;:1,&quot;335559685&quot;:720,&quot;335559991&quot;:360,&quot;469769226&quot;:&quot;Symbol&quot;,&quot;469769242&quot;:[8226],&quot;469777803&quot;:&quot;left&quot;,&quot;469777804&quot;:&quot;\uf0b7&quot;,&quot;469777815&quot;:&quot;multilevel&quot;}\" data-aria-posinset=\"1\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Flirting with other people (2.0%)\u202f\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li><li aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-leveltext=\"\uf0b7\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"5\" data-list-defn-props=\"{&quot;335552541&quot;:1,&quot;335559685&quot;:720,&quot;335559991&quot;:360,&quot;469769226&quot;:&quot;Symbol&quot;,&quot;469769242&quot;:[8226],&quot;469777803&quot;:&quot;left&quot;,&quot;469777804&quot;:&quot;\uf0b7&quot;,&quot;469777815&quot;:&quot;multilevel&quot;}\" data-aria-posinset=\"1\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Constantly nagging or moaning (1.5%)\u202f<\/span><\/li><li aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-leveltext=\"\uf0b7\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"5\" data-list-defn-props=\"{&quot;335552541&quot;:1,&quot;335559685&quot;:720,&quot;335559991&quot;:360,&quot;469769226&quot;:&quot;Symbol&quot;,&quot;469769242&quot;:[8226],&quot;469777803&quot;:&quot;left&quot;,&quot;469777804&quot;:&quot;\uf0b7&quot;,&quot;469777815&quot;:&quot;multilevel&quot;}\" data-aria-posinset=\"1\" data-aria-level=\"1\">A study on teenage intimate relationships, which involved interviews with 100 young people across five EU countries, including England, found that online and offline control and surveillance was accepted as normal by many young people (Barter et al, 2015). The majority of young people interviewed in England felt that sending sexual images of themselves to an intimate partner was normal behaviour, and verbal abuse was tolerated by many of those interviewed across all five countries.\u202f<span style=\"font-size: 16px;\" data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li><li aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-leveltext=\"\uf0b7\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"5\" data-list-defn-props=\"{&quot;335552541&quot;:1,&quot;335559685&quot;:720,&quot;335559991&quot;:360,&quot;469769226&quot;:&quot;Symbol&quot;,&quot;469769242&quot;:[8226],&quot;469777803&quot;:&quot;left&quot;,&quot;469777804&quot;:&quot;\uf0b7&quot;,&quot;469777815&quot;:&quot;multilevel&quot;}\" data-aria-posinset=\"1\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"auto\">52% of girls aged 11-21 taking part in Girlguiding\u2019s 2017 attitudes survey said that gender stereotypes affect the way they behave with boys, and 25% of girls aged 18-21 thought that sexting is a normal part of relationships (Girlguiding, 2017). 16% of 18\u201321-year-olds had felt pressured to send nude photos of themselves.\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li><\/ul>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-3ff4aeb elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"3ff4aeb\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><strong><span class=\"TextRun SCXW105594203 BCX8\" lang=\"EN-GB\" xml:lang=\"EN-GB\" data-contrast=\"none\"><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW105594203 BCX8\" data-ccp-parastyle=\"Normal (Web)\">Myths about domestic abuse<\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/p><p><span class=\"TextRun SCXW105594203 BCX8\" lang=\"EN-GB\" xml:lang=\"EN-GB\" data-contrast=\"none\"><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW105594203 BCX8\" data-ccp-parastyle=\"Normal (Web)\">There are many myths around domestic abuse and its causes. Help us challenge some of the most <\/span><span class=\"NormalTextRun ContextualSpellingAndGrammarErrorV2Themed SCXW105594203 BCX8\" data-ccp-parastyle=\"Normal (Web)\">widely believed<\/span><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW105594203 BCX8\" data-ccp-parastyle=\"Normal (Web)\"> and deep-<\/span><\/span><span class=\"TextRun SCXW105594203 BCX8\" lang=\"EN-GB\" xml:lang=\"EN-GB\" data-contrast=\"none\"><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW105594203 BCX8\" data-ccp-parastyle=\"Normal (Web)\">rooted misconceptions.<\/span><\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"color: #b6006c;\"><strong>Myth #1: If it was that bad, she\u2019d leave.<\/strong><\/span><\/p><p><strong>Reality:\u00a0<\/strong><span data-contrast=\"none\">Women stay in abusive relationships for many different reasons, and it can be very difficult for a woman to leave an abusive partner \u2013 even if she wants to. Like any other relationship, one that ends in abuse began with falling in love and being in love. Abuse rarely starts at the beginning of a relationship, but when it is established and often harder to leave.\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:0,&quot;335559740&quot;:240}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span data-contrast=\"none\">A woman may still be in love with her partner and believe him when he says he is sorry and it won\u2019t happen again; she may be frightened for her life or for the safety of her children if she leaves; she may have nowhere to go; she may have no financial independence; she might not be sure what will happen to her immigration status. Abusers often isolate their partners from family and friends in order to control them, making it even more difficult for an abused woman to exit the relationship.\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:0,&quot;335559740&quot;:240}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span data-contrast=\"none\">Leaving can be the most dangerous time for a woman. Careful planning is important because abusers can become more violent and controlling. <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.womensaid.org.uk\/information-support\/the-survivors-handbook\/i-want-to-leave-my-relationship-safely\/#makingasafetyplan\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Making a safety plan<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\"> helps to think about ways to keep safe while leaving, and afterwards.\u202f\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:0,&quot;335559740&quot;:240}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span data-contrast=\"none\">Women in abusive relationships need support and understanding \u2013 not judgement. <\/span><span data-contrast=\"none\">Read more about <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.womensaid.org.uk\/information-support\/friends-and-family\/theyve-decided-to-stay\/#reasons\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">why people stay<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\"> and how to support them in the <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.womensaid.org.uk\/information-support\/friends-and-family\/\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Friends and Family Handbook<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\">.\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:0,&quot;335559740&quot;:240}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"color: #b6006c;\"><strong>Myth #2: <span class=\"TextRun SCXW258986954 BCX8\" lang=\"EN-GB\" xml:lang=\"EN-GB\" data-contrast=\"none\"><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW258986954 BCX8\" data-ccp-charstyle=\"normaltextrun\" data-ccp-charstyle-defn=\"{&quot;ObjectId&quot;:&quot;ac0262f4-8a9e-5820-b908-2d943c5f7113|1&quot;,&quot;ClassId&quot;:1073872969,&quot;Properties&quot;:[201342446,&quot;1&quot;,201342447,&quot;5&quot;,201342448,&quot;1&quot;,201342449,&quot;1&quot;,469777841,&quot;Aptos&quot;,469777842,&quot;&quot;,469777843,&quot;Aptos&quot;,469777844,&quot;Aptos&quot;,201341986,&quot;1&quot;,469769226,&quot;Aptos&quot;,268442635,&quot;24&quot;,469775450,&quot;normaltextrun&quot;,201340122,&quot;1&quot;,134233614,&quot;true&quot;,469778129,&quot;normaltextrun&quot;,335572020,&quot;1&quot;,469778324,&quot;Default Paragraph Font&quot;]}\">All couples argue \u2013 <\/span><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW258986954 BCX8\" data-ccp-charstyle=\"normaltextrun\">it\u2019s<\/span><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW258986954 BCX8\" data-ccp-charstyle=\"normaltextrun\"> not domestic abuse; <\/span><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW258986954 BCX8\" data-ccp-charstyle=\"normaltextrun\">it\u2019s<\/span><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW258986954 BCX8\" data-ccp-charstyle=\"normaltextrun\"> just a normal relationship<\/span><\/span>.<\/strong><\/span><\/p><p><strong>Reality:<\/strong> Abuse and disagreement are not the same thing. Different opinions are normal and completely acceptable in healthy relationships. Abuse is not a disagreement \u2013 it is the use of physical, sexual, emotional or psychological violence or threats in order to govern and control another person\u2019s thinking, opinions, emotions and behaviour. When abuse is involved, there is no discussion between equals. There is fear of saying or doing the \u2018wrong\u2019 thing.<\/p><p><span style=\"color: #b6006c;\"><strong>Myth #3: He can be a good father even if he abuses his partner \u2013 the parents\u2019 relationship doesn\u2019t have to affect the children\u202f.<\/strong><\/span><\/p><p><strong>Reality:<\/strong> <span data-contrast=\"none\">Non-abusive family members often go to great lengths to try to shield children from the effects of domestic abuse (Holt et al, 2008; Lapierre, 2010). Unfortunately, in most cases children will be fully aware of the abuse, and evidence shows that children are acutely aware of the controlling behaviour of adult perpetrators of abuse, and themselves attempt to manage the effects of this abusive behaviour. <\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:0,&quot;335559740&quot;:240}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span data-contrast=\"none\">The Domestic Abuse Act 2021 recognises children under the age of 18 years who see, or hear, or <\/span><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">experience the effects<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"none\"> of the abuse, as a victim of domestic abuse, if they are related or have a parental relationship to the adult victim or perpetrator of the abuse. There is growing evidence which shows how children themselves are often subject to the same coercive and controlling tactics by the perpetrator as the non-abusive parent, and perpetrators may harm children as a way of controlling the adult victim.\u202f\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:0,&quot;335559740&quot;:240}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span data-contrast=\"none\">To find out more about children and domestic abuse <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.womensaid.org.uk\/information-support\/the-survivors-handbook\/i-feel-trapped\/#howcanikeepmychildrensafe\"><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">click here. <\/span><\/b><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\">Or to support us in our campaign to end preventable child deaths in the context of domestic abuse,<\/span><span data-contrast=\"none\">\u202f<\/span><span data-contrast=\"none\">join our<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.womensaid.org.uk\/childfirst\/\"><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">\u202f<\/span><\/b><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Child First campaign.<\/span><\/b><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\">\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:0,&quot;335559740&quot;:240}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"color: #b6006c;\"><b>Myth #4:\u202f<span class=\"TextRun SCXW205974198 BCX8\" lang=\"EN-GB\" xml:lang=\"EN-GB\" data-contrast=\"none\"><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW205974198 BCX8\" data-ccp-charstyle=\"normaltextrun\" data-ccp-charstyle-defn=\"{&quot;ObjectId&quot;:&quot;ac0262f4-8a9e-5820-b908-2d943c5f7113|1&quot;,&quot;ClassId&quot;:1073872969,&quot;Properties&quot;:[201342446,&quot;1&quot;,201342447,&quot;5&quot;,201342448,&quot;1&quot;,201342449,&quot;1&quot;,469777841,&quot;Aptos&quot;,469777842,&quot;&quot;,469777843,&quot;Aptos&quot;,469777844,&quot;Aptos&quot;,201341986,&quot;1&quot;,469769226,&quot;Aptos&quot;,268442635,&quot;24&quot;,469775450,&quot;normaltextrun&quot;,201340122,&quot;1&quot;,134233614,&quot;true&quot;,469778129,&quot;normaltextrun&quot;,335572020,&quot;1&quot;,469778324,&quot;Default Paragraph Font&quot;]}\">Domestic abuse is a private family matter, and not a social issue.<\/span><\/span><span class=\"TextRun SCXW205974198 BCX8\" lang=\"EN-GB\" xml:lang=\"EN-GB\" data-contrast=\"none\"><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW205974198 BCX8\" data-ccp-charstyle=\"eop\" data-ccp-charstyle-defn=\"{&quot;ObjectId&quot;:&quot;920dbcde-2834-5e15-a5fa-062170b236ba|1&quot;,&quot;ClassId&quot;:1073872969,&quot;Properties&quot;:[201342446,&quot;1&quot;,201342447,&quot;5&quot;,201342448,&quot;1&quot;,201342449,&quot;1&quot;,469777841,&quot;Aptos&quot;,469777842,&quot;&quot;,469777843,&quot;Aptos&quot;,469777844,&quot;Aptos&quot;,201341986,&quot;1&quot;,469769226,&quot;Aptos&quot;,268442635,&quot;24&quot;,469775450,&quot;eop&quot;,201340122,&quot;1&quot;,134233614,&quot;true&quot;,469778129,&quot;eop&quot;,335572020,&quot;1&quot;,469778324,&quot;Default Paragraph Font&quot;]}\">\u202f<\/span><\/span><\/b><\/span><\/p><p><b><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Reality:<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"auto\">\u202f<\/span><span data-contrast=\"none\">Violence and abuse against women and children incur high costs for society: hospital treatment, medication, court proceedings, lawyers\u2019 fees, imprisonment \u2013 not to mention the psychological, economic and physical impact on those who experience it. Domestic abuse happens every single day all over the world, and affects women of all ages, classes and backgrounds. It is a serious, widespread crime, committed by people we may interact with every day, including people who work in positions of trust. <\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:0,&quot;335559740&quot;:240}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span data-contrast=\"none\">Domestic abuse is committed by people in every profession &#8211; those in positions of authority, those in caring roles, and those in everyday jobs across all sectors. Despite this, Women\u2019s Aid and other organisations like us are still campaigning to ensure that survivors\u2019 voices are heard. When we describe domestic abuse as a \u2018private family matter\u2019, we minimise, condone and permit it.\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:0,&quot;335559740&quot;:240}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"color: #b6006c;\"><strong>Myth #5: <span class=\"TextRun SCXW46074973 BCX8\" lang=\"EN-GB\" xml:lang=\"EN-GB\" data-contrast=\"none\"><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW46074973 BCX8\" data-ccp-charstyle=\"normaltextrun\" data-ccp-charstyle-defn=\"{&quot;ObjectId&quot;:&quot;ac0262f4-8a9e-5820-b908-2d943c5f7113|1&quot;,&quot;ClassId&quot;:1073872969,&quot;Properties&quot;:[201342446,&quot;1&quot;,201342447,&quot;5&quot;,201342448,&quot;1&quot;,201342449,&quot;1&quot;,469777841,&quot;Aptos&quot;,469777842,&quot;&quot;,469777843,&quot;Aptos&quot;,469777844,&quot;Aptos&quot;,201341986,&quot;1&quot;,469769226,&quot;Aptos&quot;,268442635,&quot;24&quot;,469775450,&quot;normaltextrun&quot;,201340122,&quot;1&quot;,134233614,&quot;true&quot;,469778129,&quot;normaltextrun&quot;,335572020,&quot;1&quot;,469778324,&quot;Default Paragraph Font&quot;]}\">Domestic abuse always involves physical violence.<\/span><\/span><span class=\"TextRun SCXW46074973 BCX8\" lang=\"EN-GB\" xml:lang=\"EN-GB\" data-contrast=\"none\"><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW46074973 BCX8\" data-ccp-charstyle=\"eop\" data-ccp-charstyle-defn=\"{&quot;ObjectId&quot;:&quot;920dbcde-2834-5e15-a5fa-062170b236ba|1&quot;,&quot;ClassId&quot;:1073872969,&quot;Properties&quot;:[201342446,&quot;1&quot;,201342447,&quot;5&quot;,201342448,&quot;1&quot;,201342449,&quot;1&quot;,469777841,&quot;Aptos&quot;,469777842,&quot;&quot;,469777843,&quot;Aptos&quot;,469777844,&quot;Aptos&quot;,201341986,&quot;1&quot;,469769226,&quot;Aptos&quot;,268442635,&quot;24&quot;,469775450,&quot;eop&quot;,201340122,&quot;1&quot;,134233614,&quot;true&quot;,469778129,&quot;eop&quot;,335572020,&quot;1&quot;,469778324,&quot;Default Paragraph Font&quot;]}\">\u202f<\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/p><p><strong>Reality: <\/strong><span class=\"TextRun SCXW23455609 BCX8\" lang=\"EN-GB\" xml:lang=\"EN-GB\" data-contrast=\"none\"><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW23455609 BCX8\" data-ccp-charstyle=\"normaltextrun\">Domestic abuse does not always include physical violence. Women\u2019s Aid defines domestic abuse as an incident or pattern of incidents of controlling, coercive, threatening, degrading and violent behaviour, including sexual violence, by a partner <\/span><\/span><span class=\"TextRun SCXW23455609 BCX8\" lang=\"EN-GB\" xml:lang=\"EN-GB\" data-contrast=\"none\"><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW23455609 BCX8\" data-ccp-charstyle=\"normaltextrun\">or ex-partner. These incidents can include <\/span><\/span><a class=\"Hyperlink SCXW23455609 BCX8\" href=\"https:\/\/www.womensaid.org.uk\/information-support\/what-is-domestic-abuse\/coercive-control\/%22%20\/t%20%22_blank\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><span class=\"TextRun Underlined SCXW23455609 BCX8\" lang=\"EN-GB\" xml:lang=\"EN-GB\" data-contrast=\"none\"><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW23455609 BCX8\" data-ccp-charstyle=\"normaltextrun\">coercive control<\/span><\/span><\/a><span class=\"TextRun SCXW23455609 BCX8\" lang=\"EN-GB\" xml:lang=\"EN-GB\" data-contrast=\"none\"><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW23455609 BCX8\" data-ccp-charstyle=\"normaltextrun\">; psychological and\/or emotional abuse; physical abuse; sexual abuse; economic abuse; harassment; stalking; and\/or<\/span><\/span><a class=\"Hyperlink SCXW23455609 BCX8\" href=\"https:\/\/www.womensaid.org.uk\/information-support\/what-is-domestic-abuse\/onlinesafety\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><span class=\"TextRun Underlined SCXW23455609 BCX8\" lang=\"EN-GB\" xml:lang=\"EN-GB\" data-contrast=\"none\"><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW23455609 BCX8\" data-ccp-charstyle=\"normaltextrun\">online or digital abuse<\/span><\/span><\/a><span class=\"TextRun SCXW23455609 BCX8\" lang=\"EN-GB\" xml:lang=\"EN-GB\" data-contrast=\"none\"><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW23455609 BCX8\" data-ccp-charstyle=\"normaltextrun\">.<\/span><\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"color: #b6006c;\"><strong>Myth #6: <span class=\"TextRun SCXW188895174 BCX8\" lang=\"EN-GB\" xml:lang=\"EN-GB\" data-contrast=\"none\"><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW188895174 BCX8\" data-ccp-charstyle=\"normaltextrun\" data-ccp-charstyle-defn=\"{&quot;ObjectId&quot;:&quot;ac0262f4-8a9e-5820-b908-2d943c5f7113|1&quot;,&quot;ClassId&quot;:1073872969,&quot;Properties&quot;:[201342446,&quot;1&quot;,201342447,&quot;5&quot;,201342448,&quot;1&quot;,201342449,&quot;1&quot;,469777841,&quot;Aptos&quot;,469777842,&quot;&quot;,469777843,&quot;Aptos&quot;,469777844,&quot;Aptos&quot;,201341986,&quot;1&quot;,469769226,&quot;Aptos&quot;,268442635,&quot;24&quot;,469775450,&quot;normaltextrun&quot;,201340122,&quot;1&quot;,134233614,&quot;true&quot;,469778129,&quot;normaltextrun&quot;,335572020,&quot;1&quot;,469778324,&quot;Default Paragraph Font&quot;]}\">Men who abuse women are mentally unwell.<\/span><\/span><span class=\"TextRun SCXW188895174 BCX8\" lang=\"EN-GB\" xml:lang=\"EN-GB\" data-contrast=\"none\"><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW188895174 BCX8\" data-ccp-charstyle=\"eop\" data-ccp-charstyle-defn=\"{&quot;ObjectId&quot;:&quot;920dbcde-2834-5e15-a5fa-062170b236ba|1&quot;,&quot;ClassId&quot;:1073872969,&quot;Properties&quot;:[201342446,&quot;1&quot;,201342447,&quot;5&quot;,201342448,&quot;1&quot;,201342449,&quot;1&quot;,469777841,&quot;Aptos&quot;,469777842,&quot;&quot;,469777843,&quot;Aptos&quot;,469777844,&quot;Aptos&quot;,201341986,&quot;1&quot;,469769226,&quot;Aptos&quot;,268442635,&quot;24&quot;,469775450,&quot;eop&quot;,201340122,&quot;1&quot;,134233614,&quot;true&quot;,469778129,&quot;eop&quot;,335572020,&quot;1&quot;,469778324,&quot;Default Paragraph Font&quot;]}\">\u202f<\/span><\/span><span class=\"EOP SCXW188895174 BCX8\" data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;201341983&quot;:0,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:0,&quot;335559740&quot;:240}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/p><p><strong>Reality:<\/strong> Violence and abuse against women and children incur <a href=\"https:\/\/womensaid.org.uk\/investing-to-save-report\/\">high costs for society<\/a>: hospital treatment, medication, court proceedings, lawyers\u2019 fees, imprisonment \u2013 not to mention the psychological and physical impact on those who experience it.<\/p><p>All too often, when women disclose their abuse, no one listens to them, and no one asks them what they would like to happen next. That\u2019s why Women\u2019s Aid developed <a href=\"https:\/\/womensaid.org.uk\/what-we-do\/change-that-lasts\/about-change-that-lasts\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Change that Lasts<\/a>. It places the survivor at the heart and builds responses around her needs and the strengths and resources available to her.<\/p><p>Domestic abuse happens every single day all over the world, and affects women of all ages, classes and backgrounds. It is a serious, widespread crime. Despite this, Women\u2019s Aid and other organisations like us are still campaigning to ensure that survivors\u2019 voices are heard. When we describe domestic abuse as a \u2018private family matter\u2019, we minimise, condone and permit it.<\/p><p><span style=\"color: #b6006c;\"><strong>Myth #7: <span class=\"TextRun SCXW195160105 BCX8\" lang=\"EN-GB\" xml:lang=\"EN-GB\" data-contrast=\"auto\"><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW195160105 BCX8\">Alcohol and drugs make men more violent.<\/span><\/span><span class=\"TextRun SCXW195160105 BCX8\" lang=\"EN-GB\" xml:lang=\"EN-GB\" data-contrast=\"auto\"><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW195160105 BCX8\">\u202f<\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/p><p><strong>Reality: <\/strong><span class=\"TextRun SCXW84067405 BCX8\" lang=\"EN-GB\" xml:lang=\"EN-GB\" data-contrast=\"auto\"><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW84067405 BCX8\">Alcohol and drugs can make existing abuse worse, or be a catalyst for an attack, but they do not cause domestic abuse. Many people use alcohol or drugs and do not abuse their partner, so it should never be used to excuse violent or controlling behaviour. The perpetrator alone <\/span><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW84067405 BCX8\">is responsible for<\/span><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW84067405 BCX8\"> his actions.\u202f<\/span><\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"color: #b6006c;\"><strong>Myth #8: <span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW80334126 BCX8\">Domestic abuse <\/span><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW80334126 BCX8\">isn\u2019t<\/span><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW80334126 BCX8\"> that common.<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/p><p><strong>Reality: <\/strong><span data-contrast=\"auto\">We know through our work over the last 50 years with survivors and local services that domestic abuse is very common. On average, one woman is killed by a male partner or ex-partner every week in England and Wales (ONS, 2025a). Domestic abuse has a higher rate of repeat victimisation than any other crime, and in the year ending June 2025, the police recorded a domestic abuse offence approximately every 40 seconds (ONS, 2025b).\u202f\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">There are no reliable prevalence data on domestic abuse, but the Crime Survey of England and Wales (CSEW) offers the best data available. In May 2025, the latest figures, to the year ending March 2024, found that nearly a third of women (30.3%) have experienced domestic abuse since the age of 16 (ONS, 2025c). \u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">To find out more about how common domestic abuse is, click <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.womensaid.org.uk\/how-common-is-domestic-abuse\/\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">here<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"auto\">.\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"color: #b6006c;\"><strong>Myth #9: <span class=\"TextRun SCXW248738768 BCX8\" lang=\"EN-GB\" xml:lang=\"EN-GB\" data-contrast=\"auto\"><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW248738768 BCX8\">Men who abuse their partners saw their fathers abuse their mothers.<\/span><\/span><span class=\"TextRun SCXW248738768 BCX8\" lang=\"EN-GB\" xml:lang=\"EN-GB\" data-contrast=\"auto\"><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW248738768 BCX8\">\u202f<\/span><\/span><span class=\"EOP SCXW248738768 BCX8\" data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/p><p><b><span data-olk-copy-source=\"MessageBody\">Reality:<\/span><\/b> <span class=\"TextRun SCXW125819252 BCX8\" lang=\"EN-GB\" xml:lang=\"EN-GB\" data-contrast=\"auto\"><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW125819252 BCX8\">Domestic abuse is prevalent throughout society, and because of this many people have grown up in an environment where there is domestic abuse. Most of these people will never perpetrate domestic abuse in their own relationships, so it is never an <\/span><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW125819252 BCX8\">excuse \u2013 and some of our most passionate supporters are childhood survivors of domestic abuse.\u202f<\/span><\/span><span class=\"EOP SCXW125819252 BCX8\" data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"color: #b6006c;\"><strong>Myth #10: She provoked him.<\/strong><\/span><\/p><p><strong>Reality: <\/strong><span data-contrast=\"auto\">This myth is widespread and deep-rooted in misconceptions that a woman must have done something to deserve it. It is often based on the belief that the man is the head of the family, and that his role is to punish his partner or children if they act in a way he doesn\u2019t approve of.\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">This myth is dangerous because any reference to \u2018provocation\u2019 means that we are blaming the woman and relieving the abuser of responsibility for his actions. Abuse or violence of any kind is never the victim\u2019s fault. Responsibility always lies with the perpetrator, and with him alone.\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">If someone confides in you that they are experiencing domestic abuse, there are some simple things you can do to support them. However, if the person you are worried about has not directly disclosed the abuse to you, it can be more difficult to support them but it\u2019s good to understand how you can be there for them.\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.womensaid.org.uk\/information-support\/friends-and-family\/\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">The Family and Friends handboo<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"auto\">k can help answer pertinent questions about how we support those closest to us.\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"color: #b6006c;\"><strong>Myth #11: <span class=\"TextRun SCXW183121988 BCX8\" lang=\"EN-GB\" xml:lang=\"EN-GB\" data-contrast=\"auto\"><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW183121988 BCX8\">Women are just as abusive as men.<\/span><\/span><span class=\"TextRun SCXW183121988 BCX8\" lang=\"EN-GB\" xml:lang=\"EN-GB\" data-contrast=\"auto\"><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW183121988 BCX8\">\u202f<\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/p><p><strong>Reality: <\/strong><span data-contrast=\"auto\">In the vast majority of cases, domestic abuse is experienced by women and perpetrated by men. At least one woman a week is killed by her male partner or former partner in England and Wales (ONS, 2025a). Data supplied from 32 police forces showed that the victim was female in 72.1% of domestic abuse-related crimes recorded by the police in the year ending March 2025, compared with 27.9% of domestic abuse-related crimes where the victim was male (ONS, 2025a). This proportion was similar for most offence categories. For domestic abuse-related sexual offences, the proportion of female victims was 90.9%, compared with 9.1% for males (ONS, 2025a). These findings follow trends seen over previous years. Domestic abuse is a gendered crime that is deeply rooted in the societal inequality between women and men.\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Women are more likely than men to experience multiple incidents of abuse, different types of domestic abuse, and sexual violence particularly. Domestic abuse exists as part of the wider spectrum of violence against women and girls, which also includes different forms of family violence such as forced marriage, female genital mutilation and so-called \u201chonour crimes\u201d that are perpetrated primarily by family members.\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">For more information on the gendered nature of domestic abuse, click<\/span><span data-contrast=\"auto\">\u202f<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.womensaid.org.uk\/information-support\/what-is-domestic-abuse\/domestic-abuse-is-a-gendered-crime\/%22%20\/t%20%22_blank\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">here<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"auto\">.\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"color: #b6006c;\"><strong>Myth #12: <span class=\"TextRun SCXW71570924 BCX8\" lang=\"EN-GB\" xml:lang=\"EN-GB\" data-contrast=\"auto\"><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW71570924 BCX8\">Women often lie about abuse.<\/span><\/span><span class=\"TextRun SCXW71570924 BCX8\" lang=\"EN-GB\" xml:lang=\"EN-GB\" data-contrast=\"auto\"><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW71570924 BCX8\">\u202f<\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/p><p><strong>Reality: <\/strong><span data-contrast=\"auto\">False allegations<\/span><span data-contrast=\"auto\">\u202f<\/span><span data-contrast=\"auto\">about domestic abuse are extremely rare (CPS, 2022). This<\/span><span data-contrast=\"auto\">\u202f<\/span><span data-contrast=\"auto\">myth is extremely damaging, because the fear of not being believed can and does deter women from<\/span><span data-contrast=\"auto\">\u202f<\/span><span data-contrast=\"auto\">reporting the abuse they have experienced.\u202f\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">It is integral that all levels of society are aware of the reality and impact of domestic abuse because much of domestic abuse goes unreported. Research demonstrates a lack of understanding about the complexities of domestic abuse by professionals in the criminal justice system, accompanied by inconsistent responses where some women are believed over others, leaving many unable to access justice. Evidence suggests that less than 1 in 5 survivors feeling able to report their experience to the police.\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"color: #b6006c;\"><strong>Myth #13: <span class=\"TextRun SCXW119290339 BCX8\" lang=\"EN-GB\" xml:lang=\"EN-GB\" data-contrast=\"auto\"><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW119290339 BCX8\">Women are more likely to be attacked by strangers than by those who claim to love them.<\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/p><p><b><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Reality:<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"auto\">\u202f<\/span><span data-contrast=\"auto\">In fact, the opposite is true. Women are far more likely to be assaulted, raped and murdered by men known to them than by strangers. Nine in ten (92.5%) of rapes against women during the year ending March 2022 were carried out by someone they knew, and perpetrators were most likely to be an intimate partner (46.2%) (ONS, 2023).<\/span><span data-contrast=\"auto\">\u200b<\/span><span data-contrast=\"auto\">\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">On average, one woman is killed by a male partner or ex-partner every week in England and Wales (ONS, 2025a<\/span><b><span data-contrast=\"auto\">)<\/span><\/b><span data-contrast=\"auto\">.\u202f\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"color: #b6006c;\"><strong>Myth #14: <span class=\"TextRun SCXW119905034 BCX8\" lang=\"EN-GB\" xml:lang=\"EN-GB\" data-contrast=\"auto\"><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW119905034 BCX8\">Domestic abuse is a \u2018crime of passion\u2019, a momentary loss of control.<\/span><\/span><span class=\"TextRun SCXW119905034 BCX8\" lang=\"EN-GB\" xml:lang=\"EN-GB\" data-contrast=\"auto\"><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW119905034 BCX8\">\u202f<\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/p><p><strong>Reality:<\/strong> <span class=\"TextRun SCXW169140350 BCX8\" lang=\"EN-GB\" xml:lang=\"EN-GB\" data-contrast=\"auto\"><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW169140350 BCX8\">Domestic abuse is rarely about losing control; but taking control. Perpetrators rarely act spontaneously when angry. They consciously choose when to abuse their partner: when they are alone, and when there are no witnesses (if there is a witness, then usually they are a child). They have control over whom they abuse.\u202f<\/span><\/span><span class=\"EOP SCXW169140350 BCX8\" data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"color: #b6006c;\"><strong>Myth #15: <span class=\"TextRun SCXW121072940 BCX8\" lang=\"EN-GB\" xml:lang=\"EN-GB\" data-contrast=\"auto\"><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW121072940 BCX8\">Pornography is not linked to violence against women.<\/span><\/span><span class=\"TextRun SCXW121072940 BCX8\" lang=\"EN-GB\" xml:lang=\"EN-GB\" data-contrast=\"auto\"><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW121072940 BCX8\">\u202f<\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/p><p><strong>Reality: <\/strong><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Most consumers of pornography are male, and pornographic material is becoming increasingly explicit, violent, and focused on male pleasure and entitlement. It\u2019s also freely available to anyone online, and studies indicate it is how many young people find out about sex.\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Pornography contributes to a culture of misogyny, in which women and girls are abused by men for male pleasure. Women are harmed by pornography in two ways: directly, when they are used for the production of pornographic material; and indirectly, through the effects of mainstream availability and consumption of violent pornography.\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"color: #b6006c;\"><strong>Myth #16: <span class=\"TextRun SCXW82927844 BCX8\" lang=\"EN-GB\" xml:lang=\"EN-GB\" data-contrast=\"auto\"><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW82927844 BCX8\">Some women are attracted to abusive men.<\/span><\/span><span class=\"TextRun SCXW82927844 BCX8\" lang=\"EN-GB\" xml:lang=\"EN-GB\" data-contrast=\"auto\"><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW82927844 BCX8\">\u202f<\/span><\/span><span class=\"EOP SCXW82927844 BCX8\" data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/p><p><strong>Reality: <\/strong><span class=\"TextRun SCXW103744408 BCX8\" lang=\"EN-GB\" xml:lang=\"EN-GB\" data-contrast=\"none\"><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW103744408 BCX8\"><span class=\"TextRun SCXW82927844 BCX8\" lang=\"EN-GB\" xml:lang=\"EN-GB\" data-contrast=\"auto\"><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW82927844 BCX8\"><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW146549944 BCX8\">Domestic abuse is prevalent throughout society, and it is <\/span><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW146549944 BCX8\">not uncommon<\/span><span class=\"NormalTextRun SCXW146549944 BCX8\"> for a woman to experience abuse in more than one relationship. To suggest that some women are particularly attracted to abusive men is victim-blaming. A perpetrator of domestic abuse can be charming and charismatic when he first meets a new partner, and often no one, let alone the woman he has just met, would suspect he would ever be abusive in a relationship.\u202f<\/span><\/span><\/span><span class=\"EOP SCXW82927844 BCX8\" data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-63c741f elementor-widget-divider--view-line elementor-widget elementor-widget-divider\" data-id=\"63c741f\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"divider.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-divider\">\n\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-divider-separator\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-8fa3be2 elementor-widget elementor-widget-toggle\" data-id=\"8fa3be2\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"toggle.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-toggle\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-toggle-item\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div id=\"elementor-tab-title-1501\" class=\"elementor-tab-title\" data-tab=\"1\" role=\"button\" aria-controls=\"elementor-tab-content-1501\" aria-expanded=\"false\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-toggle-icon elementor-toggle-icon-left\" aria-hidden=\"true\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-toggle-icon-closed\"><i class=\"fas fa-caret-right\"><\/i><\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-toggle-icon-opened\"><i class=\"elementor-toggle-icon-opened fas fa-caret-up\"><\/i><\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<a class=\"elementor-toggle-title\" tabindex=\"0\">References<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\n\t\t\t\t\t<div id=\"elementor-tab-content-1501\" class=\"elementor-tab-content elementor-clearfix\" data-tab=\"1\" role=\"region\" aria-labelledby=\"elementor-tab-title-1501\"><h6><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Barter <\/span><i><span data-contrast=\"auto\">et al.<\/span><\/i><span data-contrast=\"auto\"> (2015) <\/span><i><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Connecting online and offline contexts and risks. Briefing Paper 5: Young People\u2019s Perspectives on Interpersonal Violence and Abuse in Intimate Relationships. <\/span><\/i><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Published online: Safeguarding Teenage Intimate Relationships (STIR)\u202f\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/h6><h6><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Callaghan et al. (2018) \u2018Beyond \u201cwitnessing\u201d: Children\u2019s experiences of coercive control in domestic violence and abuse\u2019, Journal of Interpersonal Violence 33(10): 1551\u201381\u202f\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/h6><h6><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Coy, M., Perks, K., Scott, E. and Tweedale, R. (2012) Picking up the pieces: domestic violence and child contact. London: Rights of Women\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/h6><h6><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Crown Prosecution Service (CPS) (2022). Legal Guidance, Domestic Abuse. Available online: https:\/\/www.cps.gov.uk\/legal-guidance\/domestic-abuse<\/span><span data-contrast=\"auto\">\u200b<\/span><span data-contrast=\"auto\">\u202f\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/h6><h6><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Dobash, R.P. and Dobash, R.E. (2004) \u2018Women\u2019s violence to men in intimate relationships. Working on a Puzzle\u2019, <\/span><i><span data-contrast=\"auto\">British Journal of Criminology<\/span><\/i><span data-contrast=\"auto\">, 44(3)\u202f\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/h6><h6><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Girlguiding (2017) <\/span><i><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Girls Attitudes Survey 2017. <\/span><\/i><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Published online: Girlguiding.\u202f\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/h6><h6><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Hester, M. (2013) <\/span><i><span data-contrast=\"auto\">\u2018<\/span><\/i><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Who Does What to Whom? Gender and Domestic Violence Perpetrators in English Police Records\u2019<\/span><i><span data-contrast=\"auto\">, European Journal of Criminology, <\/span><\/i><span data-contrast=\"auto\">10\u202f\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/h6><h6><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Holt, S., Buckley, H., and Whelan, S. (2008) \u2018The impact of exposure to domestic violence on children and young people: a review of the literature\u2019. Child Abuse and Neglect, 32, 797\u2013810;<\/span><span data-contrast=\"auto\">\u202f\u202f<\/span><span data-contrast=\"auto\">\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/h6><h6><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Katz, E. (2016) &#8216;Beyond the Physical Incident Model: How Children Living with Domestic Violence are Harmed by and Resist Regimes of Coercive Control&#8217;. Child Abuse Review, 25(1), 46\u201359\u202f\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/h6><h6><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Lapierre, S. (2010) \u2018Striving to be \u201cgood\u201d mothers: abused women\u2019s experiences of mothering\u2019. Child Abuse Review, 19(5), 342\u2013357; McLeod, D. (2018) Coercive Control: Impacts on Children and Young People in the Family Environment. Totnes: Research in Practice.<\/span><span data-contrast=\"auto\">\u202f<\/span><span data-contrast=\"auto\">\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/h6><h6><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Myhill, A. (2015) \u2018Measuring coercive control: what can we learn from national population surveys?\u2019 <\/span><i><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Violence Against Women. <\/span><\/i><span data-contrast=\"auto\">21(3)\u202f\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/h6><h6><span data-contrast=\"auto\">NSPCC. (2023)<\/span><span data-contrast=\"auto\">\u202f<\/span><i><span data-contrast=\"auto\">The impact of coercive control on children and young people<\/span><\/i><span data-contrast=\"auto\">. NSPCC. Available<\/span><span data-contrast=\"auto\">\u202f<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/learning.nspcc.org.uk\/media\/u3bf4glz\/helplines-insight-briefing-coercive-control-impact-children-young-people.pdf\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">online.<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"auto\">\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/h6><h6><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Office for National Statistics (ONS). (2018) <\/span><i><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Domestic abuse: findings from the Crime Survey for England and Wales: year ending March 2017<\/span><\/i><span data-contrast=\"auto\">. Published online: ONS.\u202f\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/h6><h6><span data-contrast=\"auto\">ONS (2023). \u201cSexual offences prevalence and victim characteristics, England and Wale: year ending March 2022\u201d. Dataset, Table 21b. Available <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.ons.gov.uk\/peoplepopulationandcommunity\/crimeandjustice\/datasets\/sexualoffencesprevalenceandvictimcharacteristicsenglandandwales\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">online<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"auto\">.<\/span><span data-contrast=\"auto\">\u200b<\/span><span data-contrast=\"auto\">\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/h6><h6><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Office for National Statistics (ONS). (2024a). Domestic abuse victim characteristics,<\/span><span data-contrast=\"auto\">\u202f<\/span><span data-contrast=\"auto\">England<\/span><span data-contrast=\"auto\">\u202f<\/span><span data-contrast=\"auto\">and Wales: year ending March 2024. Available<\/span><span data-contrast=\"auto\">\u202f<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.ons.gov.uk\/peoplepopulationandcommunity\/crimeandjustice\/articles\/domesticabusevictimcharacteristicsenglandandwales\/yearendingmarch2024\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">online<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"auto\">.\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/h6><h6><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Office for National Statistics (ONS). (2025a) <\/span><i><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Domestic abuse victim characteristics, England and Wales: year ending March 2025<\/span><\/i><span data-contrast=\"auto\">. Available <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.ons.gov.uk\/peoplepopulationandcommunity\/crimeandjustice\/articles\/domesticabusevictimcharacteristicsenglandandwales\/yearendingmarch2025\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">online<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"auto\">.<\/span><span data-contrast=\"auto\">\u202f\u202f\u202f<\/span><span data-contrast=\"auto\">\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/h6><h6><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Office for National Statistics (ONS) (2025b) Crime in England and Wales: year ending June 2025. London: ONS. Available<\/span><span data-contrast=\"auto\">\u202f<\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.ons.gov.uk\/peoplepopulationandcommunity\/crimeandjustice\/bulletins\/crimeinenglandandwales\/yearendingjune2025\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">online<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"auto\">.<\/span><span data-contrast=\"auto\">\u202f<\/span><span data-contrast=\"auto\">\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/h6><h6><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Office for National Statistics (ONS). (2025c). Redevelopment of domestic abuse statistics: research update May 2025. Available <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.ons.gov.uk\/peoplepopulationandcommunity\/crimeandjustice\/articles\/redevelopmentofdomesticabusestatistics\/researchupdatemay2025\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">online<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"auto\">.<\/span><span data-contrast=\"auto\">\u202f<\/span><span data-contrast=\"auto\">\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/h6><h6><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Women\u2019s Aid. (2022) <\/span><i><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Come Together to End Domestic Abuse: a survey of UK attitudes to domestic abuse 2022. <\/span><\/i><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Bristol: Women\u2019s Aid\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/h6><h6><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Women\u2019s Aid. (2023) <\/span><i><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Influencers and attitudes: how will the next generation understand domestic abuse? Listening to children and young people to build a better future. <\/span><\/i><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Bristol: Women\u2019s Aid. Available online.\u202f\u202f<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/h6><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Myths about domestic abuse\u00a0 Perceptions around domestic abuse Women\u2019s Aid have conducted research over the past two to three years, with adults as well as children and young people, to gather insight on public attitudes towards domestic abuse in order to better understand where and why domestic abuse is \u2018tolerated\u2019 in our society.\u202f\u00a0 Women\u2019s Aid [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":881,"featured_media":13896,"parent":6835,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"pmpro_default_level":"","inline_featured_image":false,"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"default","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"set","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-11384","page","type-page","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","pmpro-has-access"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v25.3 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Myths about domestic abuse - Women\u2019s Aid<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"There are many myths around domestic abuse and its causes. 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