Dear Friends,

Today I want to feature Elizabeth, a good friend and AFH resident that will be graduating this evening. I asked her if she would be willing to be interviewed for the blog, and she graciously agreed. Below are my questions, with her responses in bold.

Q:  You’re graduating today. Looking back, were there ever times you thought you might not? If so, what got you through those times?

Looking back at my time at AFH, there were some times when I thought I was going to give up and go home. Surprisingly, more in months seven through nine. During this time span, I was doing fairly well with my issues and it was becoming harder and harder to comply with the rules.  Not being able to go on walks for as long as I wanted, and not being allowed to have scissors in my room seemed stupid to me.  I knew I wasn’t going to do anything to harm myself and I was frustrated with having to comply with all the rules.  Coming to AFH and having to not only give up all my unhealthy coping skills, but almost all of my control, is one of the hardest things I’ve had to do.  One can only last so long before they start to go crazy having to show respect to staff at all times and such. (continue reading…)

Dear Friends,

A few nights ago, I was doing a devotion that mentioned Simon of Cyrene.  He was the man at Calvary that was made to help Jesus carry the cross. It prompted me to reflect on how suffering is viewed.

When it comes to things we can’t fully understand, pain in the world is close to the top of the list. It seems only normal to try to avoid pain and suffering at all costs, and I think as Americans, our culture and lifestyle reflect our extreme disdain for discomfort. We have been learning in our most recent theology group that Americanized versions of eastern religions are becoming more popular, in part because some eastern belief systems, such as Buddhism, claim to have the answer to eliminating suffering. But despite our best efforts, we still experience hardships all throughout the course of life. (continue reading…)

Dear Friends,

We finished up our Anger and Forgiveness group this past week. I have been very blessed over the past few years in that the Lord has given me the grace to truly and tangibly experience His love and mercy. That experience has spilled over into other areas of my life, including being able to make peace with my past and really begin to like myself–not because I am extraordinarily special (any more than anyone else) or because I am achieving any particularly great feats. Instead, it is because I have finally stopped struggling against God. I have given up trying to do it my way. My way has never worked in the long term. It barely worked at all in the short term. I used just about every unhealthy coping skill imaginable to deal with the pain I felt, from disordered eating to self-injury to substance abuse to unhealthy romantic relationships… the list goes on. (continue reading…)

Dear Friends,

This past week felt like a turning point for me. I started running again, which may seem like a “little” thing, but it is something I haven’t done in years. It was one of those things that I thought about and thought about and placed in the “someday” column, believing that I wasn’t in good enough shape to run. After talking to our therapist, Sue, I was encouraged to quit letting fear get in the way of accomplishing my goals. So I let go of the excuses, I let go of the fear, and I made a plan to run five days a week for the next 12 weeks. I plan on continuing beyond the 12 week point, but I didn’t actually write out the plan further than that yet. The first day I ran was pretty amazing–I didn’t go far, but I proved to myself that I am a lot more capable than I give myself credit for. The second and third days went smoothly too, although I had to use positive self-talk to keep myself going because my muscles were sore from the previous days. The fourth day, though, was a little different. (continue reading…)