Dear Friends,

This past Sunday at church, a couple spoke about a ministry they are a part of.  The name of it was similar to a separate pro-life ministry I am familiar with, and at lunch that day, I brought up the pro-life ministry and what it is about.  It is active during the summer, when young adults from all over the country walk from the west coast to Washington, DC.  The groups stop at different towns and speak in churches about the pro-life cause.  I mentioned how a couple of my friends who participated in this ministry three summers ago faced a lot of angry responses from people who saw them walking down the road wearing white t-shirts bearing just seven letters:  PRO LIFE. (continue reading…)

Dear Friends,

Last weekend, we got to go up to Fort Wayne to Glenbrook Mall to do some shopping.  I browsed Barnes & Noble for a while, and then ended up just walking around. I was getting really thirsty, so I set off looking for the little convenience store I had purchased a drink from last time we were there. I couldn’t find it, so I ended up going to one of the directories to look for the listing. To my dismay, the store was no longer there. I guess they put a little Asian place in where it used to be. I started to walk away, when the advertisement on the opposite side of the directory caught my eye. (continue reading…)

Dear Friends,

Today I want to feature Elizabeth, a good friend and AFH resident that will be graduating this evening. I asked her if she would be willing to be interviewed for the blog, and she graciously agreed. Below are my questions, with her responses in bold.

Q:  You’re graduating today. Looking back, were there ever times you thought you might not? If so, what got you through those times?

Looking back at my time at AFH, there were some times when I thought I was going to give up and go home. Surprisingly, more in months seven through nine. During this time span, I was doing fairly well with my issues and it was becoming harder and harder to comply with the rules.  Not being able to go on walks for as long as I wanted, and not being allowed to have scissors in my room seemed stupid to me.  I knew I wasn’t going to do anything to harm myself and I was frustrated with having to comply with all the rules.  Coming to AFH and having to not only give up all my unhealthy coping skills, but almost all of my control, is one of the hardest things I’ve had to do.  One can only last so long before they start to go crazy having to show respect to staff at all times and such. (continue reading…)

Dear Friends,

On Wednesday night, one of my very good friends here will graduate and move back to her home state. I will definitely miss her presence in the house, but I am very excited for her and I can’t wait to hear how she is doing out in the “real world.” She has grown so much just in the time that I have been here, and though she is technically my junior, I look up to her in many ways, and she exudes wisdom far beyond her years.

I recently realized another benefit of the length of the program here. In other facilities that might last 30-60 days, it is much harder to see a great deal of growth in people. Although these shorter programs can be beneficial, people just kind of come in and out. As a newer resident, I didn’t really notice much difference between me and the people who completed the program. I think the opportunity new residents have here to witness people graduating is incredibly inspiring. It speaks volumes about the possibility for true change, if we are only willing to put forth the effort and be receptive to the help we are offered. (continue reading…)

Dear Friends,

I want to reference last week’s blog and draw a parallel to Christianity. I think it is fair to say that Christians and would-be Christians alike often struggle with giving their entire life over to God. In the book Spiritual Freedom, Fr. Dave Pivonka reflects on one aspect of this when he mentions how we sometimes struggle with completely letting go of certain sins. Perhaps, he suggests, we cling to our sin because it is the only thing we possess that is truly ours—the only thing we have that God has not given us.

I know that there have been times in my life when I was pretty sure the Lord was nudging me to either stop doing something detrimental or to start doing something He wanted me to do. Sometimes, I resisted because I didn’t think I was equipped. Other times, I resisted because I didn’t want to sacrifice—whether it was a vice I was particularly attached to or simply time and energy I would have to dedicate to doing His will instead of my own.  Though I am a firm believer that His plan for my life will bring me more joy than my own plan ever could, I still frequently struggle with actually applying that belief. (continue reading…)

Dear Friends,

This week has gone by incredibly fast. I can’t believe it is already Friday! One of the things I was worried about before I decided to come to A Friend’s House was the fact that the program was much longer than other standard treatment programs. Even though I definitely wanted (and needed) the benefits of a long-term program, I kept wondering if I was really committed to sacrificing what seemed like such a big chunk of time. After a little bit of thought, I realized that if I continued on with life in the manner I was living it, it would truly be losing that same amount of time. If I sacrificed nothing, I would gain nothing. (continue reading…)

Dear Friends,

A few nights ago, I was doing a devotion that mentioned Simon of Cyrene.  He was the man at Calvary that was made to help Jesus carry the cross. It prompted me to reflect on how suffering is viewed.

When it comes to things we can’t fully understand, pain in the world is close to the top of the list. It seems only normal to try to avoid pain and suffering at all costs, and I think as Americans, our culture and lifestyle reflect our extreme disdain for discomfort. We have been learning in our most recent theology group that Americanized versions of eastern religions are becoming more popular, in part because some eastern belief systems, such as Buddhism, claim to have the answer to eliminating suffering. But despite our best efforts, we still experience hardships all throughout the course of life. (continue reading…)

Dear Friends,

We finished up our Anger and Forgiveness group this past week. I have been very blessed over the past few years in that the Lord has given me the grace to truly and tangibly experience His love and mercy. That experience has spilled over into other areas of my life, including being able to make peace with my past and really begin to like myself–not because I am extraordinarily special (any more than anyone else) or because I am achieving any particularly great feats. Instead, it is because I have finally stopped struggling against God. I have given up trying to do it my way. My way has never worked in the long term. It barely worked at all in the short term. I used just about every unhealthy coping skill imaginable to deal with the pain I felt, from disordered eating to self-injury to substance abuse to unhealthy romantic relationships… the list goes on. (continue reading…)

Dear Friends,

This past week felt like a turning point for me. I started running again, which may seem like a “little” thing, but it is something I haven’t done in years. It was one of those things that I thought about and thought about and placed in the “someday” column, believing that I wasn’t in good enough shape to run. After talking to our therapist, Sue, I was encouraged to quit letting fear get in the way of accomplishing my goals. So I let go of the excuses, I let go of the fear, and I made a plan to run five days a week for the next 12 weeks. I plan on continuing beyond the 12 week point, but I didn’t actually write out the plan further than that yet. The first day I ran was pretty amazing–I didn’t go far, but I proved to myself that I am a lot more capable than I give myself credit for. The second and third days went smoothly too, although I had to use positive self-talk to keep myself going because my muscles were sore from the previous days. The fourth day, though, was a little different. (continue reading…)

One of our residents wanted to write about her experience in the program at A Friend’s House. Below is the first of her posts, and she plans to write each week. I hope you enjoy getting to know her, and learning about the progress she’s making.

-Pam

Dear Friends,

I am starting this blog for two reasons. One, and the most important, is to express my gratitude to ALL the people who support A Friend’s House Ministries, whether through prayer, monetary donations, helping with the Stock The Shelves campaign, or in some other way. So many different people, groups, and organizations help to make AFH possible that it would be pretty extensive for me to list everything, but I do want you all to know that everything you do is very much appreciated. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think of all the different people who contribute in some way to this ministry. I had at first thought of trying to make a thank-you card every day to be sent to different donors, but then I remembered one of my favorite movies, Pay It Forward, and I had a different idea. (continue reading…)